ThespAc's Blog

Slam: a Voice Poem

2011-12-31T08:00:00.008-05:00

On my deathbed, memories'll stir;
Miami born & raised, catholic Cuban family,
My mom's voice is home, safe & familiar,
While my father's a mystery, an untold story.
The youngest of 4, & I still feel like an only child.

Midnight blue draws me, French tunes entice me;
Aged vinyl records sooth my soul
While ignorance inflames my rage.
The roaring 20s, a time that shoulda' been mine,
Italy & France, I'll finally have met.

Bette Davis, legend of the silver screen;
Voice soft yet commanding, beauty not traditional,
Passion for the craft, always present.
A fear of giving up, will be something of my past.

A voice that began as a yellow star,
Then morphed into triangular red,
To now, a maroon circle, never-ending change.
Even in death, nothing is destroyed,
For hope of a phase 2 lingers in this dying brain.

As the finish line is approached I'll anxiously wait
The confirmation from a voice, of my warm cremation.
And as my eyes close for the last time, like in old classic movies,
Words'll appear, humongous and in cursive,
To sign: "The End".

The Penultimate

2011-12-30T13:24:00.005-05:00

The end of the year is already less than 48 hours away. Can you believe it? It seems like just a few weeks ago we were ringing in 2011 ... and now we're getting ready for 2012. Insane.

With the end of 2011 amongst us brings the end of this blog. 350 Posts later & 4 years of writing on this blog (and 2 more writing on my previous, more personal, blog) it's kinda strange that I won't be doing it anymore. As I said in a earlier post, I don't find the beauty and intimacy of writing on an online journal the way I do with a handwritten one. I've started writing in a leather bound notebook and it's been absolutely wonderful. In that book I can write everything out, no holding back whatsoever. With an online journal I run the risk of someone I know stumbling upon it and finding things out I probably don't want them to know about me; and if I'm going to write in a journal, it should be 100% honest and 100% me in the writings. I hold myself back too much with this blog.

It has been, however, really nice to capture events and thoughts all these years. I'm sure I will come back and look through old posts to see what I was up to in 2009, 2008, 2007 ... and so on. In my very first blog (which I will not disclose here because that one has even MORE personal stuff on it), dates back to 2005, just when I was about to graduate from high school. I went back and read all of my fears of graduating and going out "into the real world".

I think everyone should write in a journal. It's so therapeutic and a nice feeling to go back and see what you were like in the past, what you were thinking & feeling. It's good to write all out of your emotions, your dreams, and fears and see how much one changes through out the years.

Well, that is the end of my words. Tomorrow I will post my final post, a voice poem that I wrote this semester that I had to read in front of the entire class which ultimately brought me to tears. It brought me to tears because, though the words may come off as cryptic, behind them are stories I've lived and felt through out my life.

I think it an appropriate way to close this blog.

Until then, happy new year & be kind to one another.
Xoxo,
Albert a.k.a. ThespAC

Dancing in Strobes of Light

2011-12-28T13:04:00.002-05:00

Wow, last night was fun!

I went to pick up one of the girls from my theater department on campus before heading over to the house where the party was being held. When we got there, and spent a good 5 minutes looking for the actual townhouse and probably another 5 looking for a visitor parking, we entered a house filled with fog and lots of pretty lasers and strobe lights.

The girl and I apparently were one of the first ones to arrive along with a small group of guys that were friends of the hostess and her husband. We went up to the second floor to listen to the first "Catfoot" song - which, by the way, was pretty weird yet funny all at the same time - and then went back downstairs and grabbed something to drink to wait and see if any one else from the theater department showed up, since the rest of the people arriving were friends of the hosts (not related to theater). The whole thing was basically a "release party" for the sequel to the first Catfoot song. The song would be played for the first time to the "public" at midnight sharp.

So after a while people we knew started showing up and then things got a lot more fun because it wasn't just the girl I picked up and me standing awkwardly sipping from our cups. When midnight arrived the song was played and it was pretty cool and very "epic-journey-like" ... if that makes any sense. The music was good; the lyrics, however, were bizarre, LOL. The song lasted for about 10 minutes, maybe? All I know is that the song itself had a brief intermission and the lyrics (which the hosts printed and passed out to anyone wanting to read from it while the song played) was double sided! No one could read them anyway because it was so dark and green lasers and red strobe lights were flying everywhere. It literally felt like we were in some night club.

Anyway, the night was pretty fun. I loved spending time with my theater peeps and I actually even danced all night with them! The mood was so mellow and while I did feel awkward dancing to hip hop (oh dear) and other kinds of music, I didn't care of looking like an idiot. I was having fun and no one was paying attention to the dancing anyway so I decided to let loose.

I got home around 4:30 in the morning. Hopefully there will be more of this sort of thing in the future, but filled with my theater class so it's more fun and more mellow :)

Party

2011-12-27T19:13:00.002-05:00

Tonight I am doing the unthinkable: I'm being social.

I'm going to attend a little get-together party thing at the house of a girl from the theater department. Her and her husband are throwing a little shindig called Catfoot 2 Release party. I'm still not really sure what this is but I've come to the conclusion that it's a song she and her husband recorded. I'm not sure, I'm just going to go so I can see some of my classmates that I bonded with this semester. As much as I hate having to be too social, I gotta make an effort. I can't go through life being solo. Gotta build some connections and friendships - no matter how painful and strenuous it seems!

The party, according to the Facebook Event's page, begins at 9pm and goes to 4am (??!!). Um, yeah, I'm only going to be there till midnight, 1am the latest before I dip and head home. I'm not into parties, but I am definitely into the idea of hanging out with friends, going for coffee, a movie, or making it a movie night at someone's home. But parties? Meh, I just don't think I was made for them.

It's December 27th and the end of this blog is almost near! Eep! The sadness is beginning to settle in.

Christmas Day

2011-12-25T15:56:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Last night I went to my family's annual Christmas Eve party. It was pretty nice, not boring like it's grown to be the past few years. Now that I think of it though I probably found it to be a lot more fun because I actually had a few drinks. About 2 cups (yes, plastic cups) of wine, and 2 beers. I am such a light weight, folks, because I was TIPSY with those drinks. I didn't even drink them quickly and I had a buzz that came with a headache. My body is just not used to drinking anymore. I've grown weak!

This year my Secret Santa was my brother. As a joke, he gave me this:

But then he gave me my actual gift which consisted of a pair of jeans from Old Navy and a really nice shirt from Macy's that, unfortunately, didn't fit me because it's a Medium. I hope they can find one just like it in Small.

Well guys, December 31st will be the last day I post on this blog. It's almost over!

Chispita

2011-12-22T22:41:00.004-05:00

Lately my cat has taken to hanging out in my room again. It's been quite some time since she used to do this.

Weekend Relaxation

2011-12-17T12:08:00.002-05:00

It's officially Christmas break. Kubrick has allowed us to have a break this weekend since he is also finishing up his own show that he directed and starring himself. He specifically asked all of us not to work on anything this weekend pertaining to the Vibrator play: no character analysis, no memorizing, NOTHING. Since I have no work this upcoming week, just rehearsals, I gladly accepted his instructions and will not feel guilty that I'm not memorizing this weekend. I'll have plenty of time to do that after rehearsals this week since I'll be home.

Did I mention in the previous post that I'm going to refer to him as "Kubrick"? I'm too lazy to check but yes, I am going to refer to the director as Kubrick. He's given each of us names so why shouldn't I give him one too? He said he is going to call me Alan something, because it is the name of a highly known medium or something. He is convinced that I and my character Mr. Daldry are spiritual beings because of an action exercise he gave all of us to do. I chose to do an action where I was holding a cross and hovering it over papers I was scribbling on, sorta like how scrying was done on that TV show Charmed. My intention behind all of this was that I find a security and release when I write, he took it as something mystical and magical and filled with spirituality that he is sure Mr. Daldry now is. I sorta like that idea. He instructed me to find some sort of medallion, that isn't a cross, so I can hold it as Mr. Daldry in the show whenever he enters a room. "He uses it to check the energy of the room, the spirits of the people."

Did I mention I love working with this man even though I'm TERRIFIED of him?

It's like working with Stanley Kubrick

2011-12-15T22:08:00.002-05:00

Well my rehearsals for the Vibrator play have begun. I must say that this is already quite the interesting experience. Our director is extremely demanding and has made it clear that he is going to push each and every one of us. He intimidates the hell out of me because he is very direct and very rough. He is very aware of what he wants and has a specific vision that he so meticulously wants to achieve.

At the beginning I dreaded having been cast in this but I quickly began to remind myself how much I've always wanted to work with amazing directors - who are & have been notorious for torturing their actors -such as Kubrick (RIP) and Lars Von Trier but who always have come out with an extraordinary product at the end of it all. So I've told myself to suck it up and just act like I'm working for Stanley Kubrick.

This director has given us the craziest exercises to warm up before rehearsing. Exercises that included crazy dances that are straight from tribal ceremonies and other stuff like that. When he gives us instructions he stops us and makes us do it 50 times until he sees what he wants. It doesn't matter how much time we spend on that one little thing. This has happened and we haven't even began with the blocking of the show! This has all been just with the warm up exercises! I also think he seems to have it out for me but not in a negative way, I've come to accept that he is only doing this and being rough with me in order to HELP ME bring the best of my talent. So I'm not going to bitch too much about it. I'm terrified of working with him but at the same time I can't help but feel excited.

Before I sign off from this blog, a little quick update on the return of my quad-helix/expander. It's back in. Thankfully this time it isn't bothering my tongue as much as it did the second time it was cemented in. I have noticed my gums and teeth extra sensitive since it was placed back in but I'm assuming that is just because of the teeth that were taken out. It's ok, though, the pain isn't anything I can't handle.

It's almost the end of the month which means the end of this blog. It still hasn't hit me yet.

Where teeth used to be

2011-12-07T20:39:00.003-05:00

Well, I forgot to mention in my previous post that the holes where my beloved teeth (RIP) used to be have been healing up pretty darn good. Thank God, I was freaking out since I had them pulled out, fearing I'd be one of the unlucky that get struck with dry socket. I looked like a mad man all over the internet for eating tips, what was safe to eat and what wasn't so I could protect the blood clots in the openings where the extraction had taken place. I kept running into that horrible dry socket word.

Dry socket is basically what can happen to someone who has teeth pulled out where their blood clot dislodges and the bone is left exposed to EVERYTHING: food, drinks, bacteria, you name it! It hurts like hell (from what I've read) and although it is rare, it can definitely happen. Ways to increase getting this horrible shit is by drinking through straws, spitting, and basically performing any other suction-related movements with your mouth.

Anyway, it's been a week since I had my 2 teeth taken out and I've happy that my body has been a good sport and has decided to heal itself quickly. Only thing right now is that I find it difficult to chew on food because my back teeth are sore due to the spacers I had placed back in earlier this week. Guys, I am not looking forward to having the quad helix (expander) put back in the roof of my mouth next Monday.

I just realized that this is the last month for this blog.

How sad.

The return of the Quad helix/Expander ... AGAIN

2011-12-05T15:05:00.002-05:00

Looks like it's going to be third time's the charm, eh?

Earlier this morning I went to my appointment at the Ortho's office. I got my separators placed back AGAIN only to find out that next Monday when I go back that I will have the top expander placed again!!! NO!!!

NO!!! NO!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOO!!!

That is basically what I screamed in my mind as I casually nodded in response when the dental assistant told me the news.

I guess since I had the two teeth taken out it makes sense that they try and expand some more now that the teeth will be moving back.

All I know is my mouth better end up looking damn sexy after this whole ordeal!

Crunch time for finals

2011-12-03T20:56:00.004-05:00

I'm. Going. To. Go. Crazy.

On my to do list:

For Monday: Have scene memorized for juries (every BFA Theater major needs to do this at the end of every term)

For Tuesday: Have memorized and perform the tongue twister called "Grip Top Sock" as well as recite the sonnets our teacher specifically picked out for each of us. Also, show the professor our "phonetically transcribed" monologues from Macbetch, Twelfth Night, and our sonnet.

For Wednesday: Have the mock "production book" I had to put together for my stage management class and show it to the class where I will be graded ... by the class (this should be interesting).

And since I have the week off from rehearsals for the vibratory play, I wanted to get off book this upcoming week for my first scene at least, which is the longest scene I'm in, so I can feel half ready for this. I can't believe the show is going up at the end of January. That is literally around the corner!

This is my desk right now

And they're out!

2011-11-30T14:15:00.003-05:00

I got my teeth out today at last.

I must say, this was quite the experience. My appointment was for 10:30am and I wasn't called in until 11:20am. Assholes had me sitting there until 12pm because it looks like there was only one doctor there (again). It was a bit irritating having to sit alone in that room with the utensils that they were going to use on me sitting right in front of me - sort of like in a dark sadistic way of rubbing in my face what was to come.

This time the doctor was a lady who definitely knew what she was doing! When we finally got down to business. She numbed my gums and then injected me with the anesthesia. This doctor had one heck of a good hand because it didn't hurt (much!). The only part that really hurt was when she injected the palate area. Anyway, during the injecting phase I made sure to dig my finger nails deep into my other fingers as hard as I could so that the pain of THAT area would distract me of any pain shooting from my mouth.

So after waiting for a few minutes for all the stuff to kick in, boy did it kick in! All of my lower face - including the bottom of my nose area - felt like a huge balloon. It was such an uncomfortable sensation I don't ever want to feel that again. The assistant guy that was there gave me water to rinse but forget it, all that water just spilled right out of my mouth as soon as I tried! It was hilarious and embarrassing. So later the doctor lady came back in and we started with the torture - which wasn't painful AT ALL. As a matter of fact, it was quick. She poked at the tooth with some contraption to make sure everything was numb. It was crazy how I didn't feel ANYTHING at all.

The doc lady started with the right tooth first and after 2 minutes or so of loosening it up, she pulled it right off. I was relieved because there was absolutely no sensation of a tooth being ripped out or anything, just a little pressure that wasn't scary at all. I kept my hands clutched tightly because I was afraid of what it would feel like when she pulled it out but thankfully it wasn't bad. She then proceeded with the left tooth and that one actually flew out of her grasp and fell to the floor!

So there you have it. I had my premolars extracted. I even went to class this afternoon after much consideration of just skipping it. I didn't because I had already missed earlier this week. Bad part was that I kept running into EVERYONE! Even one of the guys in my class that hardly ever says a word to me said "hello" to me as we passed. I muttered a hello right back without moving my mouth too much because I had to keep it shut to put pressure on the openings where my poor teeth use to be.

I'll be back on campus in a bit since tonight is first rehearsals for the vibratory play. I'm supposed to go in "movement clothing" for after we read through the script. I already told the stage manager that I probably can't do anything to crazy with movement because of my extractions (does that even matter? Who knows but I don't want to risk anything).

Now I'm just being very paranoid of not doing anything that will tamper with the blood clots in my openings. I can't spit, I can't suck through a straw, I can't have carbonated drinks, etc.

I guess this is the price one has to pay for beauty. I'll keep you posted.

Vibrators and Extractions

2011-11-28T19:48:00.003-05:00

Let's make this a quick update on this topic: I didn't have my teeth extracted today. After spending about 2 hours and a half over there at the dentist's office, the doctor said he would rather the other doctor perform the extraction as the roots of my teeth looked a bit off and he was afraid of breaking the teeth. So in short, my appointment got rescheduled for this Wednesday at 10:30 in the morning. I missed class for nothing. Big grr!

Now, I received the shock of my life tonight when I logged onto Facebook and saw the one of the girls in my class posted a photo of the cast list for In the Next Room (the Vibrator Play) in the group she created for our sophomore class. I got cast in that show! I got cast as "Mr. Daldry". I'm shocked because I didn't receive a callback for that play when the list of callbacks went up on the call board. The cast list for Arabian Nights goes up tomorrow morning. I'm giddy to see who got cast in that.

I'm still somewhat convinced that my being cast in the vibrator play has to be some sort of mistake. Why would he cast me if he didn't call me back? This is just too weird. On the bright side, the majority of the cast for that play are sophomores! There is only 3 seniors in there which is very rare because normally the seniors have priority in being cast. Maybe we got lucky because it's a guest director that is doing this play but I'm pretty sure is because my class is pretty darn talented. I'm very proud of them.

My character isn't the lead but I'm perfectly fine with it. I'm happy and pretty excited to get started with rehearsals (whenever that is) with my classmates. At least I won't have to worry about carrying the weight of this show. I'm going to try and relax and have fun :)

Goodbye Pre-Molars :(

2011-11-27T21:27:00.002-05:00

It just hit me that tomorrow I'm having them extracted. These poor babies I've had in my mouth FOREVER will be yanked out like a scene from a torture-porn Saw-like horror movie. I'm actually feeling kinda sad ... is that strange of me?

Part of me is hoping to keep them once they're out. The thought of them just throwing them away makes me even more sad as I type this blog post.

Excuse me while I go play sad music and lovingly lick both of my pre-molars. Tomorrow I shall wear black due to the loss that approaches.

All for the sake of beauty, I suppose ...

#melodramatic post!

~AC

Auditions for 2012 Shows

2011-11-22T21:09:00.003-05:00

Quick note: Still haven't had my premolars extracted. Originally was scheduled to have the done at my relative's workplace tomorrow (the day before Thanksgiving, the horror!) but luckily the doctor had to reschedule for next Monday. Onward!

Last night was auditions for last two shows of the 2011-2012 season at the University. The shows being done are In the Next Room, or the Vibrator Play and Arabian Nights. I had to perform two monologues to which I chose one from Chekhov's The Seagull for the vibrator play and the second one from the original "Arabian Night's Tales" The History of Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp.

I did all my warm ups and vocalization at home before heading to school (my audition time was for after 10pm) and got to the University around 9 o'clock. To make things sweet and short, I forgot the second half of my Chekhov monologue to which one of the directors, a professor whose acting 2 class I was in last semester and who saw me in Die! Mommie! Die! said to me that it was ok and that I can continue on with the second monologue - he was very kind. I did my Aladdin monologue and that was came out fine (thankfully). I was basically out of the University by 10 o'clock and on my way back home.

I really hate the fact that my nerves tend to get the best of me at auditions. I've noticed that it mostly happens whenever I have to do monologues at an audition. Whenever there is cold reading, I don't stress so much and I actually tend to do better with handling my nerves. Thankfully one of our last acting classes will be on auditions so I definitely cannot wait to take that course someday in the near future.

Well, I got called back for Arabian Nights and the call back will be held tomorrow from 7pm to around 10pm. I'm pretty excited about it because some of my classmates from my year also got called back for that show so it should be fun.

I already registered for my next term and, since I registered late, I only got to pick 2 classes: acting 4 and tech lab 2 in the scene shop. I must say that I am a bit nervous about having to work in the scene shop. I'm not good with measurements and all that stuff dealing with woods and stuff. Hopefully they can just put me to sweep the floors or something when we have to participate in helping out one of the productions in the spring.

Here's hoping that I get some part in Arabian Nights!

Extraction Horror?

2011-11-14T20:27:00.004-05:00

So it is settled, I have to have two premolars from my top row extracted. When I went last week to my ortho appointment they even took off the brackets from the two teeth that are soon to be extracted. Only problem? It's expensive as balls!

The folks at my orthodontists office don't do extractions, they told me I had to go to my own dentist. But thing is I don't have one anymore so they referred me to one in my city that is "the cheapest" around. Turns out it isn't so cheap. When I called to set my appointment they wouldn't tell me the cost but they said the first visit I would have to pay $75! JUST FOR THE VISIT!

So my sister then gave me two other numbers to call but they, too, are expensive. My other sister then suggested we call this distant relative of ours who is a dentist and has extracted a tooth from my mom before for free. So now we've been trying to contact her since yesterday to try and see if she would do it for me. It would be very good! My poor wallet can't handle the blow right now.

One thing that scares me about extracting these teeth is the possibility of a gap forming in my front teeth. This is all basically being done to help correct my overbite, so the goal, I believe, is to push the teeth back. But my question is how the hell does it push the bone back? You know, the gum, the thing that is causing the overbite? Maybe I'm not looking at this the correct way and that is why it doesn't make sense to me. I don't want a gap!

UPDATE
9:11pm
My mom just received the phone call from this relative. She simply gave my mom a number to a place she knows where the consultation is free and where I will most likely get a discount on the extraction. I'm having my mom call tomorrow morning since I'll be stuck in class all day. This better be good. I'm not going anywhere else!

Extreme makeover: Thinking Edition

2011-11-04T13:50:00.003-04:00

Sitting in class right now, blogging - clearly. Man this class is really boring. The professor is great but I'm just not interested in this class. It's a stage managing class and after all these weeks of coming to this class I am convinced that I will NEVER be a stage manager. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Like my professor said at the beginning of the semester (and I'm paraphrasing, not exactly quoting) "You have to be insane to take on the job and sane at the same time to be able to handle it."

In other mini-updates, I did nothing again for Halloween this year. Being temporarily broke is mainly to thank for this. By this time next year I will be in a better place financially. I'm going to send that positive vibe out into the Universe. I just need to learn how to take action with all these affirmations I've been saying to myself lately.

I'm not sure whether I mentioned this earlier, but for almost a month now I have changed the way I think about myself - on purpose. After I reached a boiling point in my life last month, mainly because I've felt lonely at the University and was convinced that everyone didn't like me and that is why I didn't have any social life with them, I grew tired of it and gave myself a little pep talk. I've always felt like no one is interested in getting to know me, ever since I did all the musicals back in my other college. So I sat down and started to think that this could all be nothing but a horrific fiction of negativity that I have created in my mind. I have infected my brain with all this so much that I've given out that energy. Well, I've been saying daily positive affirmations to myself every day for almost a month now, reprogramming the way I think basically, and it has been such a wonderful change. I literally feel like I'm feeding my brain some healthy doses of positive energy. I've expelled all negativity stuff I think people are thinking about me and quickly say my affirmations like they're some sort of prayer.

I've had my little moments where I feel like I'm slipping back to the "negative fiction writing", but I've been good and immediately tell myself to throw away that ridiculous story.

It is still going to take a while but I'm getting there.

A Different kind of Blogging

2011-10-22T00:22:00.017-04:00

Since I decided to end this blog and write all my personal, heavy 100% uncensored stuff in an actual journal, I realized I would miss the whole "blogging" experience.

I'm not saying that this blog is going to continue because, in fact, it is still coming to an end by the end of this year. To be more specific: December 31st, the last day of this year I will post my final entry. After that, I'll leave this blog up so I can come back and read once in a while whenever I want to take a stroll down this virtual memory lane I've created for 4 years now (6 if you count my other VERY personal blog that I stopped writing in 2007 before I migrated to this less personal one).

With that said, I'm won't be saying goodbye to blogging for good. In fact, I've already created another one via Tumblr called pOp Evolution. This blog is going to be light and fun and all about pop culture and the things in it that interest me. I've already posted a few entries that you can check out by Clicking Here

Again, I'm done writing about personal things in online journals, so this will mostly be light entries on TV shows, Movies, Music that catch my interest amongst other stuff.

So there you have it. The days are, literally, numbered for this online journal. It's sort of bitter sweet, but at the same time a relief to be going "back to basics" and writing EVERYTHING in a book without any limits the way I felt I had writing on here.

Rainy morning & Halloween '11

2011-10-18T07:39:00.004-04:00

It is pouring rain this AM. Gotta get to school in a bit and I don't feel like driving!

The weather right now is perfect to be indoors, not spending it in class. Whatever, at least we'll be doing some yoga stretches/exercises at the beginning of class so I suppose it can't be that bad.

Halloween is almost around the corner and by the looks of it I won't be dressing up again this year. I have no money to buy a costume and I don't have anything to do anyway.

I sorta had an idea of what I wanted to do. I wanted to wear my shirt that looks like a blazer with a bow tie on it, wear a top hat, & wear these babies on my face:

I was also looking at carrying a cane as well. Wouldn't that have been nice? Ah!

House of Horrors

2011-10-10T20:52:00.005-04:00

I went with my niece last night to the House of Horrors fair. She met up with one of her school mates, some kid named Danny. He was very quiet and spoke very soft. Hardly could understand him. We had a pretty nice time, surprisingly; I thought I was going to have to babysit.

It's good to know that my niece knows how to behave when she is alone with me - she knows better!

The haunted house was pretty cool. It had 15 rooms, I believe, and there was lots of strobe lights! (Very bad if you have seizures). Just when you thought you were out of the haunted house, you made a turn and you were right back inside! It was a great addition to the whole experience because, like in horror movies, there is practically always a point in the movie where the character in danger feels they are finally safe only to be thrust back into the horror one last time before the big finish.

It was pretty cool.

Merry Go Round

Till next time, peeps.

Steve Jobs

2011-10-05T22:29:00.006-04:00

Today Steve Jobs passed away.
Pancreatic Cancer, I believe.
Weak and thin, I knew it would happen sooner or later.
Just hoped it would be a lot later.
No one deserves to suffer with that kind of pain.
A revolutionary man.

Mid 90s.
My first Macintosh Performa desktop computer.
What a pretty rainbow colored apple, I thought.
Taught myself how to use this strange machine.
Began to write, my imagination took off from there.

The internet, AOL, classic days.
The world of this lonely boy was opened.
Met online friends, I had a voice.
Like I landed in Oz, everything switched to color
I was happy, I was content.

Thanks Steve
Blessed be

1955-2011

Tuesday morning wait

2011-10-04T07:34:00.002-04:00

Listening to Elvis Duran
Love this show
Makes things easier in the morning

Waiting to leave for class
Waiting for the last minute to get dressed
Waiting, I should have it printed in a T-Shirt

The heat is beginning to thin out
Just as I prep to fix my car's a.c.
I always do this

I said hi to someone from class
Who never talks to me yet befriended me on facebook
She said hi back
The next day, she approached me and said hello
What a nice change

I hate when people befriend me and don't speak to me in person
Face to face
Human to human

7:33am
Off to wait some more

October is here

2011-10-02T17:32:00.003-04:00

My 3 favorite months of the year start now. I'm excited for the holidays and even more for the cool air to start hitting Miami. When that will be is anybody's guess, but I'm anxiously waiting for it. It'll make driving without A.C. much easier on my sanity.

I doubt I'll dress up for Halloween this year. I don't think I even dressed up last year. Nope, I did not. Even if I did dress up, what on earth would I do? I'm not big on going to Coco Walk in Coral Gables anymore, that place gets way too packed for my taste. Nothing but drunk idiots and slutty dressed girls that eventually end up getting raped by the end of the night (facts, not me being an asshole).

Now, maybe going to a Halloween party could be fun. With close friends or something. Nothing too wild.

Hmm, but I don't have any friends ...

I'll just save my money and stay in.

Flossing the debt away - temporarily

2011-09-25T21:59:00.003-04:00

Ever since my teeth have begun to straighten out with braces I've noticed that flossing as become SO MUCH EASIER! Of course, it still takes a bit longer because of my brace's wires but whatever. Once these baby come off flossing is going to be 100% less dreadful - because, come on, flossing is always easier with straight teeth!

I'm still amazed how quickly my teeth have straightened out and it's only been like, what? 4-5 months? I can't begin to imagine what they're going to look like when I take them off in 2013.

In other news, I've decided to get a loan from financial aid at school so I can pay off my credit card debt. I know, I'll still be in debt but at least I won't have any monthly payments as long as I stay in school. Right now with all the credit card bills mixed with my car insurance, cell phone bill, electricity bill, and orthodontist bills, I'm up to my neck in stress. So now, thankfully, I've already paid off 2 cards and tomorrow I'll pay off 2 more. I'll only have my Target and Best buy card to pay off until next term when I get my other small loan. Hopefully I made the right choice. Originally I was going to get a credit card consolidation thing but a friend advised me not to. Then I thought about getting a loan from the bank and practically everyone told me not to. Thankfully my coworker came like a light bulb and a blessing and suggested student loans.

When I graduate and do begin to pay monthly, they work with what I can afford so it won't be as bad.

From now on, I'm going to be more responsible with my credit cards. I've learned my lesson! I will not spend lavishly on clothes, food, etc. the way I used to anymore. Not unless I know I can pay it off in a month or 2.

Lesson learned! On I go with my life! Thankfully, a little stress free from now on :)

The end is coming

2011-09-13T17:28:00.003-04:00

The time has come where I'm abandoning ship.
Yes, the blog is coming to an end.
But it won't be as soon as one may think, this is going to be a process.
I've decided that what I need to do is to pick up a pen once again and write in an actual journal again.

The way I used to do in my teen years;
The way I used to do so when I lived in a time where technology wasn't priority in my life, where art was; where being in touch with my inner self was; where LIFE was.

Although I love writing on a blog, it just isn't the same as going back to read past entries in an actual book. To see my writing on ink on the paper.

It's a feeling that I cannot get from reading a blog online. As for when the last post will be, I'm not sure. It will either be sometime this upcoming winter before the year ends. I haven't decided.

I've already started writing in a real journal again and, I must say, has been such an amazing feeling. What a form of therapy! To write down all my thoughts with zero censorship out of fear someone I know may stumble upon it on the net. It's truly a wonderful therapeutic way of releasing all my stress and feelings.

Slowly, little by little, I would like to get in touch with the old me, only with what I know today, as a 24 year old man.

Get'em Out

2011-08-29T07:21:00.002-04:00

Last week I got BOTH expanders/lingual archs out. After standing out side the Ortho's office for 2 hours (they're supposed to open at 7am) and finding out from one of the cleaning ladies that they weren't starting to see people until 2pm, I left to school to go to one of my classes, nervously hoping I wouldn't have to talk to people much since the lingual arch kept popping off my tooth.

I skipped my second class and went back to the ortho. Luckily they saw me immediately (well, after a few minutes of waiting) and not only did they take off the bottom expander, they took off the top one too. My mouth felt FREE and FANTASTIC to have no metal on the roof or under my tongue.

This morning, however, I'm going back because I still need to wear the top one a bit longer. I'm just glad they gave me these few days to enjoy eating food freely. They're going to "upgrade" the top expander/lingual arch so it can work a lot more and I believe they are extracting two back teeth from the top so they the front can move back properly. I just hope they doesn't cause a gap or anything ... or that I look like an old man who has teeth missing when I smile :(

Hopefully, if they take out teeth today, they won't drug me so much to the point I can't drive to school. Either way, my appointment is at 10 and my class isn't until 2pm.

Is it weird that I'm feeling sad that I'm getting 2 teeth pulled out? It's like ... they're separating me from a part of me. LOL. Oy...

Expander/Lingual Arch nightmare!

2011-08-21T12:21:00.004-04:00

Real quick update.

So yesterday while I was having THE most DELICIOUS pizza at home my bottom lingual arch (I just realized that is the proper term for what I have on the top and bottom of my mouth) came off on one side! I was THIS close to panicking. I shove that right back onto my tooth like if I was putting a ring on my finger.

It's been popping off regularly, especially whenever I chew or talk too much. Right now it's sorta coming off again but I keep pushing it down with my finger.

Worse thing is that it happened on a Saturday when the Orthodontist office isn't open! And today, being Sunday, they are closed as well. I was going to call the emergency number but in my papers it says it is specifically for medical emergencies only. I doubt this is a MEDICAL emergency, right?

Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to call the office first thing in the morning to see if they can see me before my class starts at 2pm (tomorrow the fall semester starts for school). Hopefully they'll be able to squeeze me in quickly and even take the bottom lingual arch off earlier since I already had an appointed scheduled for this Thursday to do just that: to take the bottom expander off and [possibly] to extract two teeth from the top so that my upper jaw comes in. They are also planning to upgrade the top expander so it can do more.

I'll make an update soon.

P,S,

The job interview went pretty well until my class schedule at the University was brought up. Had I been offered the job I would have to work most evenings and weekends and that would create a conflict with my duties at school whenever I have to volunteer to help one of the semester's productions.

Oh well, I suppose I gotta keep on looking. That's how life is.

Job interview

2011-08-03T18:34:00.003-04:00

Today I received a call from one of the MANY positions at my College that I had applied for. This position is of an Administrative Coordinator for one of the oldest movie theaters in Miami that is run by my alma mater college. I'm excited because I love foreign films (which this theater shows a lot of) and just films in general. It's located in the heart of an art district and the pay would relieve me of so much stress. Right now with the current pay I receive from the position I'm in (Office clerk .... ) leaves me with absolutely no money all the time.

I'm just a little nervous with some of the duties but it isn't something I can't learn. If they give me a chance and (God willing) are able to be flexible with my school at the University then I'm sure I can do a darn good job.

My interview is tomorrow at 2pm. I can use all the good vibes/chi I can get!

The Mommie is Over

2011-08-01T10:46:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was my last performance in DIE! MOMMIE! DIE!. I feel a little sad that the show is over and that I'm not going to get to do it again. Playing the role of Angela/Barbara was VERY fun and difficult! It definitely was a challenge playing a woman, but it was one that I absolutely loved to take. By far, from all the characters that I've ever played in my young 5 years of an acting career, this role was the most fun I've had.

It was a great way to start at the University. Very few new theater students can say that their first role in the department was a lead. The students who mostly get the leads are the juniors and seniors. So I felt very privileged and proud of myself for snagging this part.

Opening night the audience was very ... lively. We had a few loud black girls who thought they were watching a movie at home. They kept making comments like "Ooh gurl, you iz in trouble!" or "Get him gurl, GET him!". One funny moment during the final scene where I say to my husband (who has come back from the "dead") "The cuisine in Hades must be top notch!" one of the black girls said "Oh now I'm offended!"

They thought I had said the cuisine in HAITI.

The rest of the performances went well, some audiences seemed dead but then we had the good ones again. Even though the run of the show is over and I'm sad that it is, I'm also relieved that I'm going to get the chance to go home after work and just RELAX and be lazy before the fall semester starts later this month.

All in all, this has been my favorite show. Only thing I definitely won't miss is the process of becoming Angela.

Can you tell how excited I am to begin the transformation?

Hopefully my future roles and productions at the University will only get better and better.

Last night was Preview

2011-07-21T08:21:00.003-04:00

Last night we had the preview for DIE! MOMMIE! DIE!. It went pretty good! There were some technical errors like the dude that does sound cues sounding off the wrong reaction tunes at the wrong moments during the first scene, but the audience did get a warning that there might be some errors since it was still a preview show. Hopefully those errors won't happen tonight when the show officially opens to the public.

I had 2 wardrobe malfunctions but I played them off pretty well. In the first scene when I enter and go to put my flowers in a vase my large gardening hat fell off my head. With all the glamor I could muster I let out the most feminine gasp I could and picked the hat up and placed it on the sofa.

The second wardrobe malfunction occurred a bit later during the show when I'm giving the infamous angry "This time, it's for me!" speech. One of my earrings fell off my ear and since my character was supposed to be very upset, I simply yanked the other earring off and threw it onto the mini bar near me. I kept on with the scene.

The scene where the earring popped off

I think the most important scene (and certainly the most EXHAUSTING) in the entire play is the LSD scene where it is revealed that my character isn't who people think she is. I nailed that scene and felt proud of how it went.

At the end of the show everyone seemed very pleased. My colleagues in the theater department, several of who I've never spoken to, were asking to see me by the end of the show to congratulate me. It was quite the ego boost, I must say, but it was a nice moment.

And just to think, that was only the beginning. Tonight is when the real run of the show begins.

The week Mommie Dies

2011-07-18T09:57:00.002-04:00

Opening for DIE, MOMMIE, DIE! is this Thursday with a preview on Wednesday night. Up until last night I was pretty mellow, only worrying about the quick changes I have in the show (And when I say quick, I mean QUICK!); however, now I'm beginning to feel the nerves & excitement of opening for the audience this week.

The make up is cool (I think I look clown-ish, but whatever) and I've gotten used to walking in heels and maneuvering with dresses. Thankfully watching a lot of old classic Hollywood movies for years paid off with this show because sometimes I do feel like a Bette Davis or a Joan Crawford when I walk, sit, stand, and exit the room. Very glamorous, very feminine, with of course, humor ;)

They finally changed the horrendous wig I was rehearsing with to a more beautiful curly red hair one. I'll post pix soon enough.

A quick update on the whole ortho journey: I told the folks at the orthodontist (that word always makes me think of dinosaurs for some odd reason) that I wasn't feeling any discomfort or anything with the expanders. The girl told me that it's normal because I'm not 10 anymore, but that doesn't mean they aren't working. I asked her how long are they normally on for and she told me 3 months. I really hope they make a dramatic difference before the 3 months are up because right now I see no difference at all. I want my mouth to open, to expand!

Send me good vibes for the 2 week run of this play.

Skirt Dance & Expanding What?

2011-06-21T08:36:00.004-04:00

Been a while, I know.

I'm finally used to having the expanders in my mouth. Putting a little wax on it helped but proved to be a difficult task when I tried to keep the wax from falling off the metal. Thankfully my tongue has seemed to become tough because I can now speak clearly.

One thing that I want to mention to the Ortho is the lack of "discomfort". I haven't had any headaches or pain to show me that it's "expanding" the palate and bottom. I'm not sure if that is abnormal or if it's just the way the expanders work, "slowly" ... VERY slowly.

Rehearsals for DIE, MOMMIE, DIE! is going pretty good. I'm 85% memorized but still very rusty. Walking in heels hasn't been so easy. I have a wobble at times and last night my director told me that I seem a bit stiff when I walk in them but that with practice it should come along. I'm just relieved all the notes I got were for the "walking" rather than my acting.

Last night my director also put me in a dress so I can get more in touch with the femininity of the character. At one point when I kneel down to dip the "lethal suppository" that my character uses to kill her husband I got stuck in my skirt when I was standing back up and tripped and fell onto the couch with those gold heels up in the air and all. Pretty amusing moment and would have made for a good segment in a gag reel had this production been for film instead of the theater.

Expand it Baby, Expand it

2011-06-03T08:44:00.003-04:00

I got my palate expander yesterday. It's HELL!

First of all, it's really difficult to eat because the food gets stuck in the expander (I have it on the top AND bottom). My tongue isn't able to move the food as easily as it used to and it's just .... HELL!!!

It took about an hour to get them in. Apparently one of the spacers had fallen out, something that was a surprise to me because I never felt it come out or anything. I wonder if I accidentally ate it? So, the one of the expander's hooks was giving the lady nurse (WHAT on earth are these assistants in the Ortho's office called?! Nurses seem wrong ..?) a hard time because it would set properly. It kept moving or something. I'm not really sure, I was just praying it would work so I wouldn't have to wear those spacers again. I was also trying not to gag. I absolutely can't stand that thing that sucks the saliva being inside my mouth.

Right now it feels weird and I have a lisp that I'm trying to get rid of quickly because I think I start rehearsals for my play next week. The director sent us a message on our Facebook page to see if we didn't mind starting earlier (that way we can get July 4th off). I still haven't given up on the hope that the lisp will eventually go away. I just don't want to panic my director, LOL.

Well, kiddos, I will say that palate expanders suck; but I wasn't expecting anything pleasant so it isn't much of a surprise. It's funny. Now that I have the expander on I appreciate the moments when I only had the braces on. It's amusing how the complaints change. I used to complain about the braces but compared to what I'm going through now, just wearing braces isn't a bad thing. So my advice to all of you who don't need a palate expander and just have to wear braces: EMBRACE IT! You've no idea how lucky you are that you don't need to wear expanders.

One good thing about the expanders that I have on is that I don't have to turn the key. The doctor told me that it expands on its own. If it's expanded since I've gotten it, I haven't felt it - which is a good thing because the last thing I want to do is feel as the metals are opening; it'll make me feel like I'm in one of those SAW horror movies.

I'm due back on the 29th of this month. Hopefully these expanders will work quickly so I don't have to wear them for too long.

1 Month with Braces & all I want to do is strangle my Bird

2011-05-31T16:50:00.005-04:00

Yesterday marked one month since I had braces shoved in my mouth. Eating got extremely better with the exception of chewing with the front teeth. That I still can't do because the teeth are just so damn sensitive.

Today I had an appointment to get those dreadful spacers AGAIN in order to prep for the expander I'm having cemented into my mouth this Thursday. Fun!

The lady that put the spacers in this time pressed pretty hard against my front teeth to put the spacers in and it hurt like a mother lover! As she was speaking with the lady next to her about the final episode of her Spanish soap opera I sat there frantically clutching the sides of my chair with my eyes so wide it made her laugh at the end and say "There you go, I'm done, see? You're still alive!"

Now my mouth is tender again and all I want to do is bury my head in ice cream. It also doesn't help that Bogie, my Quaker parrot, loves to shriek and scream randomly whenever he taps into one of his multiple personalities. Between that and the pain in my mouth is enough to send me on a murder spree.

An accurate depiction of my bird from Shrieksville

Getting the expander this Thursday is starting to get me nervous. But no matter the pain I'm in and the frustration it brings me, all I have to do is think of the beautiful smile I'll have at the end and - normally - it works and makes me feel better.

I gotta LOVE the pain!!!
Oh, and rest assure Peta ... I won't hurt my bird. Yet.

Introducing Angela Arden ...

2011-05-27T15:04:00.003-04:00

... my character in Die! Mommie! Die!

Moving Teeth

2011-05-04T09:34:00.004-04:00

It's been 5 days since I got my braces on and I still have difficulties chewing food. It is annoying to have to chew (if you wanna call it chewing!) with the back teeth, the VERY back teeth because even the side teeth are sore. The front teeth, forget it, they are supper sensitive and I was told at the ortho to NOT chew with the front at all.

The putting on the braces was pretty quick and painless but before they put them on, the nurse (are they called nurses or do they have specific names?) put these circular metal things on the back teeth where the separators were. That hurt A LOT!! The little metal tools wouldn't slide around the tooth so the lady had to use some tool there and have my bite down hard so it would slide through. That was the most pain I experienced the day I went to get my braces on.

I feel self conscious when I talk to people but not as much as when I laugh or smile. I feel like I have a computer sticking out of my mouth!

My next appointment is at the end of this month to get separators AGAIN (I think) and then on the 2nd of June I got back to get the thing that is going to expand the roof and bottom of my mouth. Sounds like fun.

I'm beginning to think that perhaps I should have gained at least 20-30 pounds before getting these braces on ... it's so difficult to eat that I'm going to lose weight and disappear!

I just hope that within the next few days that it gets easier to use my side teeth to eat food. I have so many delicious goodies at home that are begging to eaten.

How many months left till these train tracks come off again?

Jury result & Separators

2011-04-29T11:18:00.007-04:00

I'm currently on campus waiting for 12:30 to arrive so I can get the script for the show I'm going to be in. The stage manager will apparently be in the theater department from 12:30 to 5.

Just got out of my juries and it didn't go bad but it also wasn't that great either. I did a scene from Chekhov's Ivanov. All the acting professors from the department were there and gave us critiques and asked us about our experience with the University and the program so far. They said my partner and I were pretty smart and were at the level we needed to be. They said we both "faked" at certain points in our scene but that we did it "smartly" and we knew where to do it without exaggeration. They concluded that critique with wanting more realism from the both of us. Not bad, but we'll live!

So the semester is officially over and now my focus is going to be on Die! Mommy! Die!.

On another note, yesterday I got separators put on the top and bottom around of the back teeth in my mouth. They're these little blue elastic (or plastic? Yes, most likely that) that are wedged between a tooth to create a small space so that when I put my expanders.

Separators (mine are blue).

Let me tell you, child, it's been HELL. Not because it hurts, but because I'm paranoid that they'll brake or come out when I'm eating so I've restricted myself from eating anything crazy. I am just so happy that they are coming off tomorrow because I've read and heard that some have to wear these little assholes for a WEEK. The girl who put the separators inside my mouth told me that this was the part that was going to hurt the most but luckily it hasn't. Sure, I now feel my teeth a little numb and a TINY discomfort but I welcome it. I guess the pain from wearing braces will be a good thing for the masochist side of me.

Speaking of which ...

Tomorrow, folks, is also the day I get my braces. YES!! I'm happy because I'm really going to start having these teeth get into their right places once and for all.

I wonder if I'll see a big difference in 6 months ... or 3. How exciting :)

Braces, the musical

2011-04-22T21:45:00.004-04:00

Had to make a quick update before I forget about it. I took a nice nap earlier this evening in order to prepare for a nocturnal visit to Walmart for grocery shopping with my mother. Well I had a bizarre dream that I was at the orthodontist's office to put my braces on and I was so nervous that everyone in the office broke into a big musical production number. The theme was very "Rocky Horror"-esque and it was very amusing and even fun!

The doctor put in my expander and brackets and wire and then pressed some button that would start expanding the roof of my mouth. I was so nervous the minute she pressed a button and I started to feel the expander expanding. They saw this and gave me a cup of Hawaiian Punch (WTF?) with a straw to make me feel better but I was nervous of staining the clear brackets on the top row of my teeth. To make things stranger, Beyoncé and her Destiny's Child troop appear and begin singing and dancing to which Beyonce has to stop multiple times and yell at them to get the choreography right. I didn't enjoy that portion of the musical number so I ventured back to the other side of the office where the Rocky Horror theme was still going on. I guess there was more than one musical number happening in order to keep me entertained and ease the process of getting braces on.

I love these bizarre dreams. They make sleeping that much more fun.

The time is almost here!

2011-04-21T10:38:00.004-04:00

Goodness, a week from today I'm going to be getting the spacers in my teeth and then a week from Saturday the actual braces. I'm pretty nervous now that the day is getting closer. I'm thinking of taking a profile shot of my face every month until the braces come off so that I can see if there is any difference in 2 years. I have an overbite so it can be interesting to see the "transformation" after the braces come in 2013. Then I may post a video showing all 28 photographs .... if I'm confident enough!

In other news I got cast as the lead in one of the Summer Theatre plays at my University, which is pretty neat considering not many freshmen get leads in productions until they are at least juniors and/or seniors. The play I'm doing is called DIE MOMMY DIE! and I'm playing the part of the "mommy", Angela Andrews. It's funny because I've never been dressed as a woman so acting as one for a play is going to be an interesting new acting experience (which I love).

Originally I was going to take it easy for the summer and not audition for any of the shows, but the moment I saw that this was one of the plays being produced I jumped all over that like bees on honey. I specifically went to the audition with getting cast as Angela in mind. You see, the way the audition process works in this program is that you come in and read a monologue in front of all the directors of the different plays, and then you get called back for which ever of the plays - meaning you basically don't choose which to audition for.

However I went and prepared a monologue of a drag queen because I WANTED to be called back to read for Die Mommy Die. I went and did it. I got called back for 2 shows, Mommy and another one called And Baby Makes Seven. I went in and didn't try much for the second play because I didn't want it, but I went in and gave all I could when I read the part of Angela for Mommy. Thankfully I saw the cast list yesterday and I got cast in the role I wanted. Mission accomplished!

Oh, the play also has a really fantastic movie adaptation with the playwright in the lead role as Angela.

DIE MOMMY DIE! Trailer

Now all I'm nervous about is how I'm going to look with the braces. The production is running July 21-26 so I'm going to be with the braces already. I know they are clear braces (on top) but still, I hope it doesn't look too awkward.

At least I got the part, though.

Brace-Face

2011-03-16T12:44:00.005-04:00

You read it correctly. Soon I will have ... braces. *Horror music*

I went this morning to an appointment with an orthodontist I set up earlier this week for a consultation and signed myself up after speaking with them and learning the fees, etc.

In a way I'm horrified that I'm going to have to wear them but I'm also happy because I know what awaits at the end of these 2 years. My self-esteem has always been low in the dumps and hopefully this will help elevate it since I've always been self-conscious about smiling.

Before seeing the doctor, one of the nurses/whatever they are took some xray of my mouth which I found to be very uncomfortable because i had to stand still and bite down on some plastic thing while this robotic thing circled my head. Afterwards I was taken to another area where I met my doctor who then looked at the xray results and then examined my actual mouth. Nice to meet you.

Luckily I told the doctor about my performing on stage and if I could have something less noticeable. She showed me some translucent brackets and I thought they looked great on that fake mouth piece thing she had on display. However, she said for the bottom row I would need to wear the regular ones because the translucent ones don't work as well for the bottoms.

She told me that the brackets she's going to be putting on me are pretty cool because I will start noticing the change within the first few months (or something like that, I don't remember) and that it will make me want to take them off but that I should wait for the full 2 years to finish (28 months).

After the doctor saw me and wrote up my report I was then given to the money lady who informed me how much I would have to pay a month, etc. She told me that if I signed the contract with them that day that I would not have to pay the $189 for the molds of my mouth, etc. I told her that I would need to discuss it with my mom first since she was giving me some money to pay for the procedure (which was complete bullshit, I just wanted to see if she thought it was a good idea!). I then left and got in my car and called my mom. She said she thought it was pretty good and that I should save myself 189 dollars by signing up, so I got out of my car and returned to the office and asked her I wanted to sign it.

I signed and then got my molds done - which was a little disgusting because it was gooey blob pressed up against my bottom and upper teeth. Thankfully I didn't gag!

So ... April 29th is the day.... I'm nervous and excited. I get them on that day but before that I have to go in on the 27th of April to get the separators ... ay Jesus...

P.S.

Once I put on my braces I will add a count down to the blog to count down the next 28 months - which I'm hoping isn't going to be as tedious as I'm already starting to imagine.

"Happy, Happy Birthday in a Hot Bath"

2011-03-14T08:48:00.003-04:00

It's my birthday. Yay.

I'm now 24 years old. Next year a quarter of a century. Why does time go by so quickly when you don't want it to? It seemed like only yesterday I was playing with my stolen power rangers from BJ while watching the actual show ...

... on second thought, I'll save the melodramatic speech for when I hit 30.

Sucks to be stuck in an office on a Monday when it is your birthday. You know what sucks extra suckage? That I'm on "spring break" from the University so I basically have no class all week but have to come to my old college anyway to work. Thumbs up? More like 2 thumbs and my @%#$ down.

Anyway, I'm a bright cheerful boy today. Right? Why of course!

I'll try (like I've already said one thousand times) to not leave this blog so abandoned. Poor thing, it's all dusty from my neglect.

It ain't a personal thing, though. I promise.

xxx

Wrapped

2011-02-03T10:48:00.007-05:00

Filming wrapped this Monday and while I'm going to miss filming and acting I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. This month has truly been extremely busy; from all the homework assignments for the University to memorizing to working I'm surprised my head hasn't started spinning.

My experience with this short film was ... decent. I wish it would have been a lot more positive but it was frustrating at times. Mainly because for the most part, the actors (mostly me and my "leading lady") were lost each time we were about to film a scene. Our director almost never gave us insight to the blocking of the scene or which point in the scene we were starting from and ending on. The girl and I had to ASK for our directions. Most of the time the director was focused on getting the lighting right for the scene - which is marvelous because it'll make both the film and the actors look great - but he really needs to work on his interaction with the actors of his film. One thing also that sorta ticked me off but wasn't bad as not receiving direction was the CONSTANT changing of the scenes/lines/script.

At one point on Sunday when we were filming all day at an Antique's shop, he changed one scene by adding a line. He let us know about it and about the blocking and we were set. The first part of filming went awesome. I felt great and I knew what I was doing thanks to his direction. However, everything reverted back to the way it was and when the time came to film the scene he had changed, he decided to change it again; Only, this time he only told the girl! I was standing a few feet away from them and he was talking to her and I knew what he was doing. I didn't say anything though because I wanted to see if he would come up to me and let me know about the changes as well.

He didn't.

So, literally, seconds before calling action, I asked the girl if everything was just the same way it was before and she told me it wasn't. I stopped and said "This is NEWS to me."

The director stopped and THEN started to tell me in his usual chopped up way of explaining what he wants. To make a long story short, there is a point in the scene where I'm supposed to follow the girl up a ladder type stairs. He told me "When I touch you, I want you to go and say the line and then go up the stairs".

Well, what he really meant to say was that he wanted me to say the line like I normally was doing and THEN go to the ladder when he touched me. So the girl goes up the ladder & I don't deliver my line because I'm WAITING for him to touch me. He yells "Cut!" and he shakes his arm and his head as if saying "What the fuck are you doing?" I had had enough and said "You said to wait for you to touch me!" And I hit my shoulder really hard to show him what he was supposed to do. That is when he clarified what he really wanted.

I was so pissed and gave him the dirtiest look because everyone in the room grew quiet and the tension was pretty thick in the room. I shook my head and scoffed with a smile that clearly showed I thought he was a joke.

After the scene I threw the bag I had to have in the scene down to the floor and stormed off as they started to set up for the next scene (which was the same scene but with the point of view of the camera set on me this time).

I started to bitch "Never again am I going to work with these people" (or something like that) and told the girl (in front of the producer and some of the other crew) "I'm pissed off, the script isn't solid, it keeps changing, it's ridiculous that the actors have to ask for direction and when we get it it's not clear. He changes the whole scene and only tells YOU and then has the balls to get pissed off at ME!"

At that point the producer attempted to calm me down. I told her I didn't want to talk anymore and that I needed a minute to cool off otherwise I was going to go back into that room and cuss him out.

Needless to say, even though I meant every word I said, I said it in front of her and the director's friends & crew because I KNEW they would tell him about it. That's exactly what I wanted.

After the melt down, the director calmed down & I noticed he was trying to butter me up by complimenting me and saying what a trooper I was. The next day, on Monday, was the final shoot (at a Marina) and that went pretty well. He was really describing every detail in the blocking and was finally directing me the way I wanted to be directed. Granted, his explanation of things still need work but it was a MAJOR IMPROVEMENT.

Through out this entire shoot I've felt extremely stupid. I was even asking myself what the hell was wrong with me that I was getting instructions wrong! Thankfully I realized that I was being that way because I wasn't being directed properly. The explanations weren't clear. The director would explain things and then just walk away before finishing his sentence thus leaving me (or the other girl) standing there confused. I'm sure the film is going to look great because every crew member put an admirable amount of time setting up lights and paying attention to detail, but I really think the director really needs to improve his way of explaining his vision to his actors the way he knows how to explain his vision to his crew.

Class & Sausage

2011-01-25T10:47:00.003-05:00

My classes at the University have been a bit disappointing in the sense that we've done a lot more writing in the acting 2 class than actual acting. I'm not going to tear it down too much too soon though, I'm sure the professor has very good reasons for making us write so much about our opinion on quotes and exercises. Some of the stuff he talks about in class I've already heard in my previous acting 2 college class so it can get repetitive. I just hope he doesn't get offended by my constant yawning. I honestly don't mean it in a bad way! :)

The costume class is once a week so I've only had 2 classes of it. Last week we began to sew and it is not easy! I even pricked the side of my index finger (but no blood).

Filming of the short film I'm participating in begins this Thursday and will go through Monday. I'm excited but I sort of want it to be over because the work load from the University mixed with this other project is driving me insane! Had this project presented itself last term when I had no classes whatsoever, I'd totally be enjoying it 100%. But for now, I'm enjoying it 90% so it isn't bad :)

One thing I'm not looking forward about this project is driving an hour to Pompano Beach for the first day of filming. That's hard! That and the fact that I have a scene that first day where I'm only wearing briefs!! The horror!! I'm just grateful they're getting it in color because I do not want to be showing penis in the middle of the set.

I'll update with how everything pans out.

Parking from Hell & Booked Gig

2011-01-10T19:13:00.005-05:00

First off let me just say that the parking at the University is HELL. I literally spent 30 something minutes driving around looking for parking. I think I'm going to be spending more gas looking for parking in that school than actually driving to it. It's ridiculous.

Later I spent a good 25 minutes walking around campus looking for my class. I thought I knew where the building and class room was, but I really didn't. Luckily I found it and then spent the next 30 minutes just glancing at my phone and waiting for the class to begin.

The actual professor is out of town so we had a substitute professor there. A few of the girls said hi to me and I was very friendly and introduced myself. We had our first assignment today: to go and purchase the 2 required text books for the class and read the intro and then write a paragraph on what the message tells me as an actor (or something of the sort), all due this Wednesday. Nervously I text my old co-worker who now goes there and asked him where the bookstore was. I found the store fine and spotted one new girl I recognized from class (she's really a sophomore but she is new to the theatre program) asking for the books. We smiled at each other and stuck together while the employee led us to our texts. Unfortunately the store didn't have the books yet and wouldn't have it until the 22 of this month. So we bid farewell and I was on my way to the parking lot. Later this afternoon I called the financial aid office to learn that this term financial aid isn't covering the cost of the books/materials. It's all because I'm only taking 2 classes, grrr... there goes 22 dollars out of my bank for these books. My bills this month are going to SUFFER.

Okay, now for the good news. I got the part in the short film! I got the call today from the lady from the film center the director held the second round of auditions. It feels good because I saw that there WAS other guys reading for the same part, meaning I beat them all. That makes me feel good.

Movie number 3 (and number 1 SHORT film) on my resume.

Woohoo!

University Life & Call back

2011-01-09T20:48:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is my first day at the University. I'm nervous! Last time I felt like this was five years ago when I was starting college. It's a feeling I did not miss!

I'm hoping this experience at this school will be 20 times better than the one I had at MDC. I hope to build new and better relationships with these new people who are going to be my peers.

Oh boy, let the adventure begin!

P.S.

Last week, I went to the callback for the short student film I auditioned for a while back and I think it went well. I definitely enjoyed reading with the girl they paired me up with this time. She was bubbly, out going and very nice. The scene we were reading from involved our (potential) characters sitting in a jaccuzi and this girl actually had her bikini under her dress! One of the ladies there then asked me if I would take my shirt off to even things out with the girl. Of course, I did it but I admit I was a little embarrassed because of my small frame. In short, I don't think I got the part because I haven't heard from them and the callback was last Wednesday.

That's OK though, I'm just glad I went.

Shakira - The One

2010-12-29T19:51:00.001-05:00

I love this songs and the lyrics. Hard to believe that it's 10 years old. Perfect song to dedicate to a special someone or a good friend.

The new year approaches

2010-12-28T22:37:00.003-05:00

Another year is almost over. It's strange when I think back to ten years ago - my goodness how fresh those times still feel in my memory. It doesn't feel like it was 10 years ago. How is time flying so fast?

Sometimes I wonder if time seems to go quicker the more we get older. I remember when I was a little kid how time always seemed to be at a standstill, never moving. The days in a month seemed to go on FOREVER and 12 years seemed to go by before the next Christmas was amongst us. I wonder if any of this makes sense at all. Laziness keeps me from proof-reading posts so if there are any mistakes, so let it be.

In a matter of 4 days 2011 will arrive, and 2010 will be nothing more than a distant (or not so distant) memory.

After the melt down

2010-12-20T22:51:00.003-05:00

So, after the heavy duty negativity-filled entry I posted last time I think I pretty much got it out of my system (for now).

I actually did go to the audition but not to the one that Thursday. After I chose not to go I pretty much spent the entire afternoon and early next day sulking over my little melt down. However, later that day I received an email from the director of the short film telling me that he liked my look and that if I could go to the Saturday audition. I was a bit surprised so I wrote back that I would.

When Saturday came I was nervous because I'd never gone to that school before. Luckily I was able to find my way pretty well thanks to Google maps. After getting a little lost on campus (after I parked I had to go find the room they were holding the auditions at) and asking 2 girls that were clueless when I asked them if they knew where the building was, I found the classroom the auditions were being held at - I still don't know how I found it. I just turned a the corner of a corridor and voila, there was the room. When I signed in I noticed a few other people had already been to the audition.

I thought my audition went pretty well. It wasn't bad. I definitely was off book so I didn't have to look down at the script. After my audition I found my way back to the parking when my cell phone rang. The director asked me if I could go back because a girl they'd called in to audition had arrived and wanted us to read together. I went back and did it again.

So whatever the outcome I'm just glad the director emailed me and asked me to come in on Saturday because I actually auditioned and it wasn't just another missed opportunity that would have left me asking myself the infamous "What if" later on. I did receive a call back this week. Apparently I made the director's "very short list" so that isn't too bad. He's auditioning other men from some Miami World Cinema studio so ...

I'm scheduled to go back early in January for the callback so that should interesting. I hope he sends me the new sides soon so I can start memorizing the lines. If I get picked we would be filming the short film during the last week of January so that means I will have to miss work (which isn't too bad) and classes (which does have me worried considering I'm beginning at the University).

Que sera, sera ...

P.S.

The "additional" charge I received after registering for classes is just temporary. I called the financial aid office and the person told me that I still had some Grants pending and that they will take a while to go through but that I shouldn't worry so that is a big plus!

Maybe acting is for someone else

2010-12-09T15:03:00.003-05:00

Lately I've been doubting my talent and my potential of ever being a successful Actor. There have been several times that I've recorded myself performing monologues and I just can't stand the results. I hate the way my voice sounds, there is an annoying accent in it I can't seem to get rid of, and, I hate the way I look. Everything on my face looks awkward and it's made me realize something: I'm extremely ugly. Watching myself act has made me realize that, in reality, no one would ever hire me to play the lead role in a movie. True, while some may say that beauty isn't everything and that the talent is what counts, the truth is that people want to see beautiful people on screen. The ugly only get to play the comedic characters and/or be an extra in the background.

The thing that scares me now is that if I give up on acting then what else is there for me to do? I can't do anything else! There is nothing else in this world that makes me feel the way I do when it comes to acting.

I had an audition today for a short student film at UM but I just decided not to go. Why? Because after I memorized the sides the director emailed me I started to rehearse it in front of the mirror and couldn't stand the way I looked when I said things.

So there you have it.

I finally registered for classes at my University but now they're charging me something extra even though I was already approved for financial aid. If financial aid doesn't pay it I'm going to tell them to take me out of the BFA program and I just won't go. Besides, chances are if I do end up going to the school that it'll be a repeat of the past 4 years I spent at my current college. I'll want to make friends but my shyness and self-consciousness will get in the way so much I'll still be the loner I've always been. Not one person my age seems interested in being friends with me. Not even the cast members from my musicals ever want to include me in anything they do. The only good thing about my life is that I got good health, the rest sucks; I know I'm not fun, I know I'm ugly and not fun to be around with.

Enough ranting, I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. I'm climbing into bed.

I'm a BFA Theatre Major

2010-11-12T07:50:00.002-05:00

So I went to the audition at the University & two days later got the call that I got accepted into the BFA program. Yippy!

There was a lot of us auditioning for the theatre program. The acting professor told us they this year they were more restricted from accepting a lot of students because of some reason I can't remember right now. Before the actual audition he had us do some breathing exercises and then we played a theatre game before he sent us to the "green room" to wait our turns to audition.

I was number 6. Inside the room was the acting professor & a lady I'm assuming was the voice professor. I performed my dramatic monologue & then began my second monologue. Mid way through the second one the voice professor stopped me and asked "Can you sing a song for us please?"

Thank goodness my intuition is a good one & that I had already practiced a song days before the audition JUST IN CASE. I sang "The Man on The Moon" and when I finished the song they seemed pleased. The acting professor said that I seemed a little nervous at the beginning but quickly opened up when I started to sing. Later they asked me a few simple questions and then was on my way.

At first I was a little worried because I didn't get to perform my other monologue but i ended up being satisfied with my audition. I think it could have been better & I certainly wish I hadn't seemed nervous to them at the beginning, but there's nothing I can do about that now. One thing is for sure, I really need to practice my audition skills; it is definitely a weakness of mine. I always get too nervous. Its fine to be a little nervous, but my nerves get the best of me and most times it restricts me from showing what I can really do.

At least I got into the Bachelor of Fine Arts Theatre department :)
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Next Week: Audition Time

2010-10-25T07:54:00.002-04:00

Oh man I'm starting to get nervous for next Saturday's audition for the BFA program at the University.

I have my 2 monologues and I have them memorized so that's good. Only thing is that I keep knit picking my acting. For some strange reason I'm finding it difficult to get into the emotions that the dramatic monologue requires. I don't want to make myself cry, because I don't want to get my whole face wet when I still have the comedic monologue right after, but I do want to show some emotions that clearly shows the character's anger and grief (his pregnant wife was Falsely accused of witchcraft and was burned at the stake after being tortured). I'm going to try and practice at least having my eyes water up WITHOUT shedding the tears.

As for the comedic monologue, I'm playing a heroin addict. Yep, I'm having a hard time grasping the characteristics of that too. WHAT is happening to me??

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Dream Blog

2010-10-21T08:07:00.002-04:00

I'm starting to think about starting a dream blog so I can keep records of everything I dream about. I find my dreams, for the most part, to be extremely entertaining.

Now here's the sad part: sometimes I even look forward to going to sleep because I'm excited at the thought of what I might be dreaming that night.

I'm guessing this excitement also stems because I'm able to have lucid dreams a lot; you know, where you're aware that you're dreaming & can basically control and do anything you want.

Last night I had a dream where I was called in at the last minute to do a musical show with my cast of Cabaret from earlier this year. When I began putting my make up, no matter how hard I tried, I always ended up with makeup making me look like I had a bloody face. Later on, it turns out I am in some strange place, I think it's still a huge old theater, where my brother suddenly has turned into a maniac killer that can shape-shift into pretty much anything he wants. My brother's main goal was to kill me. He even shape shifted into one of my cats at one point!

Although scary & a bit disturbing, I loved it! Now I'm wondering if I should really start a dream blog. I mean, I hardly update this one, I'm not sure how I would do running TWO blogs.

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Riding the Train

2010-10-19T07:44:00.002-04:00

Makes me itchy. I'm pretty sure it's all the works of my evil OCD but it still does. It seems that each time I ride the train to work either my eyes itch, my nose itches, or even my hands.

Right now, my upper lip is itching.

I hope I get admitted into the University soon so I KNOW for a fact that come January I'll be a student there. Then, and only then, will I have the chance to stop taking the train (since no train goes to the University).

Sure, I could drive to work now instead of taking the train, but I need to save money and try to save as much gasoline as possible. When I go to the University I will have no other choice but to drive over there; that, or take the bus - and that shit isn't happening!

Geesh, this is the second post 2 days in a row (!!!). Perhaps the boredom of riding this train (and "ickiness") is what I needed all this time to get me back to writing this blog.

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Shots Out of the Way

2010-10-18T07:40:00.002-04:00

My immunization papers are finally cleared. I went to the clinic & luckily the doctor was able to pull up my medical shots history. It showed I had my shots done back when I was a shrimp in the 90s; all except the one for the meningitis shot. That was didn't matter much so I signed the waiver that the University offers for that shot. All I have left is to get admitted into the school so I can register for Orientation next month.

I went to an audition for a theater group this Saturday with the main purpose being to practice performing the 2 monologues I have to show next month for the BFA Theatre program at the University. I did pretty good but I could have definitely done a better job with my dramatic monologue. I still need to keep practicing. I should also do my best to not forget these 2 monologues so that I always have them in hand whenever an audition shows up where I need to perform a monologue (oh how I hate them!).

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Registering Process is a Pain in my Ass

2010-10-06T11:38:00.004-04:00

Got the 3 recommendation letters - Check
2 Monologues memorized - Check
Submitted the Application - Check
Shots - Error
Application Approved - Error
Sign Up for Orientation - Error
Financial Aid - DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!

I have most things covered. However, next week I should be getting 2 out of the 3 shots I have to take to be admitted into the University. The third shot isn't at my clinic so I may have to go somewhere else. Well, depending on the price and location for the third shot, if it proves to be too much of a hassle I will just sign a waiver for that shot where I basically promise not to sue the hell out of the University, etc.

I cannot sign up for Orientation (another requirement) until my application has been processed and I receive my "welcome letter" from the institution. I may have to call and see what's up.

Financial aid ... is a head ache. A pain that throbs within the depths of my ass. They sent me a letter telling me they needed a copy of my taxes along with some verification sheet and so I went to the University and submitted it (By the way, that school is HUMONGOUS!!). Now my to-do list on the University's website still shows that they need "additional" information. Goddamn them!!!

This is some of the reason why I originally didn't want to bother applying for Universities after graduating from my college; everything was too damn complicated.

All I can do now is just keep practicing my monologues. If anything I can just forget going to the University and at least I will have memorized 2 monologues for future auditions.

University for Connections

2010-08-29T11:11:00.004-04:00

I've decided that I have way too much time on my hands since I graduated from MDC. I've realized that I won't be able to make any connections unless I'm in an environment of constant Theater; so I decided to transfer to a University after all.

So my application for FIU has already been submitted (along with the $30 app. fee, Oh what a blow to my malnourished bank account!) and my financial aid as well. I called the theater department and even scheduled my audition date - which is on November 6th. Now all I have to do is wait to get accepted into the University and then submit myself for an orientation, which is apparently a mandatory thing before one registers for classes. I've chosen the 2 monologues that I'm going to have to present at the audition and now I've got to get 3 recommendation letters.

Hopefully I'll get accepted into the B.F.A Theater program (which is what I'm auditioning for). It will be super nice to know that I'll finally be going to school to study one thing: Acting/Theater. No more math classes, no more science classes, no history, none of those things that don't interest me whatsoever.

Who knows what will be my future in musicals. At the moment I don't think that's going to be my major. I think Theater should be my focus right now. Besides, I think in the program we will get a few singing classes and musical stuff as part of learning our craft.

One more thing that I don't remember if I mentioned here (and that I'm too lazy to look back to), I finally got my diploma from MDC and I was surprised to know that I graduated with honors! Who would've thunk it? Me, who took 4 years to graduate at a 2 year college because of the math & science classes!

Beach Update

2010-08-17T10:11:00.003-04:00

I finally went to the beach this summer after God knows how many years. It was very, VERY nice, too.

After grabbing the hag and heading to a beach called Virginia Key beach (in Key biscayne), paying 5 dollars for parking, we learned that that beach was shit. There were "NO SWIMMING ALLOWED" signs all over and the "beach" looked more like a pond.

Thankfully I got my money back and we found another beach near by that was awesome. The parking fee was 6 dollars but damn we had a nice time.

The water was calm, no waves, the sand was clean (with the minor exception of some sea weed on certain parts in the water) and the sun was great. That's the only time I can stand having the sun blaring as hot as it was that day - when I'm at a beach.

I got some color but I spent it most of the time in the water because it was so refreshing.

& Thank goodness it wasn't South Beach.
Will have to keep going more often.

In other news, I am still looking for a new job.

GloZell

2010-07-24T13:13:00.001-04:00

I love GloZell... this is one of the reasons why.

"Is that your Breath?" by GloZell

Reasons why I haven't gone to the beach this Summer

2010-07-21T14:27:00.002-04:00

1) I don't know any beach that is not South Beach (as in Ocean drive).

2) Too poor to pay for parking.

3) I am a wuss....

3) I don't remember/know how to parallel park (ties in with #2 because I'm too scared to risk parallel parking and screwing it up while the other cars wait behind me, blaring their horns.

I have come to the conclusion: I need professional help!!

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Time Stands Still

2010-07-19T21:22:00.001-04:00

This summer has be pretty boring. I've done nothing exciting, & my bank account is experiencing a major recession (lol). I can't forget about Zibby, the fly living inside my wallet.

I finally got my diploma this week in the mail, thus making me an official college graduate. It was sort of a journey I thought I would never be able to accomplish due to my difficulties passing my math courses. Thank goodness for the guy (who I'll leave nameless) who worked at the Access department at school. After I had an evaulation to see if I had a math disabilty, the girl who evaluated me didn't diagnose me properly. The gentleman from Access took a look at the scores I got from ALL of the tests the evaluation lady gave me and said "You clearly have a math disorder".

And so he fought to get me excused from taking those required math classes - thank God.

Now I'm in a time in my life where I genuinely feel scared; scared because I don't know what to do with myself. Going to a University doesn't sound like the greatest idea to me but at this point I may consider applying for some. I just want to go out and work. The acting bug has been gnawing at my flesh ever since I graduated. The urge to act intensifies with the passing weeks and it's getting to the point where acting is the ONLY thing I am thinking about.

Hopefully when the Fall arrives everything will pick up. There aren't many good auditions posted lately so maybe Miami is on pause with auditions for feature films/shorts.

This limbo sucks, I am ready for time to pick up the pace and to begin sending good acting opportunities my way.

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Gotta love Toy Story

2010-07-15T18:14:00.005-04:00

P.S.

I have not watched Toy Story 3 yet!

It Happened with an Almond Video

2010-06-16T14:12:00.001-04:00

This is the last minutes of the dark-comedy play I wrote & directed, It Happened with an Almond.

My blog becomes a lot more Social-Networky

2010-06-05T13:33:00.005-04:00

I just added a Meebo app to my blog where everything is basically "share-able". The subjects of each post (along with any picture) can be shared by clicking on it and dragging it; a list of ways to share that will suddenly appear and you can drop it to any social networking site you prefer (Facebook, Twitter, etc).

Also, everytime you come to my blog you will notice a tool bar at the very bottom of the page. That is the new chat feature that comes along with the Meebo app.You can sign in to any of your preferred chat clients like AIM, Google, & Facebook. Though I'm not sure if Yahoo is on there ... it should be since you can chat through Yahoo on the Meebo site.

My domain (albertcampillo.com) is expiring in July and I've chosen not to renew it. Yes, it was nice because I was able to personalize my blog/site a lot more to the way I want it but the truth is I can't afford to pay for it right now. That's okay, too. I'm in no hurry to have my name as the domain to my personal blog just yet.

Maybe whenever I make it big? :-P

And then there was One ... GG

2010-06-03T15:00:00.005-04:00

Rue McClanahan, the third Golden Girl passed away early today at 1 in the morning. That makes it three out of four of my precious Golden Girls passing away. I will admit that I never saw much of her other work (just a few episodes of her as Vivian on Maude, which also starred Bear Arthur) but I will always remember her as the sultry Blanche Devereaux.

February 21, 1934 - June 3, 2010

A curious note that I've recently realized is that Rue, Bea, & Estelle Getty have all died in consecutive years. Estelle passed in 2008, Bea in 2009, & now Rue in 2010. I hope Betty is able to stay with us a lot longer. Hopefully the next R.I.P. posting won't be for Betty.

Rest in Peace Rue

Balls, where art thou?

2010-05-17T10:35:00.004-04:00

How does one get start in an acting business? What does one have to do to get noticed in this industry and develop a successful career as a working Actor? Leave it to me to be interested in one of the toughest careers ever.

Now I am not complaining, it's more like ... expressing my fear. Now that I'm officially done with college and have absolutely nothing to focus on rather than my "career" it is scary as hell.

I know I have no future as an Actor living in Miami. I'm going to have to get some balls and go to New York or Los Angeles. The latter is the one where I really should go to since my primary interest is film rather than theater. Thing is I'm scared shitless because I don't know anyone out there. All my colleagues are in Miami going on to Universities - & I don't really want to keep going to school. I just want to work. Fame is not necessarily the thing I'm interested in, it isn't number one, but I do know it eventually comes with it - good fame or bad. All I want to do is be a working Actor that gets paid. How in the world does one start? How does one look for apartments without being over there to see it in person? Does that mean I would have to spend some money taking a trip over to L.A. first before actually going there to live? That sounds like a lot of dough. I know there is the internet, but there is nothing like seeing the actual thing. I would have to be very ballsy to just move over there without having a place to stay at. I can't just move to L.A. with the hopes of finding an apartment the first day I'm there.

I only have 500 saved up from my tax returns ... that ain't going to get me anywhere! This part of my life scares me. The though of just packing my stuff up and moving to an unfamiliar city really irks me. I'm going to miss having the excuse that I'm in college now that I've graduated.

The fun part starts now.

Bette Davis Bloopers

2010-05-01T23:34:00.001-04:00

More reason why I love her. Even the most professional actors can screw up lines once in a while during filming a scene :)

Purchase my movie "ROUGH WINDS"

2010-05-01T20:17:00.004-04:00

I've completely forgotten to add this link here. My movie Rough Winds is now on sale for $10.

To purchase, click on the link below:

Purchase ROUGH WINDS

Commencement? No, thank you!

2010-05-01T19:42:00.003-04:00

Today was the commencement ceremony for my graduating class but I chose not to go. I wasn't really into the entire idea of sitting in that place for 3 hours just to get the "feel" of walking. Yes, it's taken a lot for me to be able to graduate from Miami Dade College but I really didn't need to assist the ceremony to have a feel of "completion" from school.

I had a perfectly nice time today taking my mother out to the grocery store ...

In other-but-still-related-to-school news, I passed my critical thinking class with an A!! In fact, I got all straight A's in all my classes this term so that's a very good thing!

Now that I'm done with school I'm afraid I am an experiencing a "Now what?" feeling. Every time someone asks me what I plan to do since I'm not going to go to a University I feel very strange saying that I plan on going to countless of auditions (In Miami, HA!). What I need is to find an Agent so I can have proper representation but in order for them to be interested in me I need a demo reel of some sorts ... or really good photographs, which I can't afford to take. My one head shot is already sort of boring, I'm thinking I need variety so there is SOMETHING I can offer when approaching agencies.

Hopefully my path will clear up and something good will come my way. I'll just have to remember to take EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY that I can get to audition for things and DO IT.

I auditioned for the nation-wide casting for the TV Show GLEE and recently taped a video for another nation-wide casting for a comedy that Warner Brothers is going to be making but, let's be honest, to be recognized in a NATION-WIDE casting one would have to be really lucky & great. I'm going to keep a positive mind, but I also have to be a little realistic when it comes to huge castings like these two.

Either way, I'm not going to give up. Now comes the real work: being recognized. But how do I start going about that with no demo reel/professional photos? How can I make myself stand out living in Miami?

No body said this road was an easy one to take.

Welcome to the life of an aspiring Actor.

After Show & Graduating

2010-04-27T08:52:00.002-04:00

The show went exceptionally well on both nights. The audience really loved it and both nights we had standing ovations. Everyone was on point both nights of performance and the truth is that there was not one of us who had low energy.

Now that it's over it is a bit disappointing because we wish we would have been given more than two nights. After 4 months of hard work it feels strange that we did it all for just two nights.

I had completely forgotten that graduation was this Saturday! Claudia reminded me about it when she asked me if I had picked up my cap and gown from the campus book store. I really don't want to go because I hate graduations and even more, I hate waiting 3 hours for all these students to be called up to the stage. Claudia keeps trying to convince me to go but at this point I doubt I will. I did pick up my cap and gown, but I did it just to keep it.

Another thing that keeps me from wanting to go is also that I am unsure whether I'm going to pass the critical thinking that substituted my math class requirement. That class is a toughy and I have no clue what my grade is for that class (a long with the rest of the class, who hate it because the professor has a reputation for grading at the last minute). If I don't pass this class then that means I still have those credits to take again in order to receive my diploma - and I am NOT going to retake that class again.

I will have to keep my fingers crossed.
Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

Cabaret opening night

2010-04-23T13:09:00.002-04:00

In a matter of hours Cabaret will open to the public at my school. I can't express how energetic I feel right now. I'm trying to calm down because I don't want to lose all this energy before going on stage tonight, it's quite humorous.

I think the show will be great. We've all work really hard these past 4 months. I hope the audience enjoys the show & that they have a great time. Tonight my boss, supervisor and some other coworkers are attending. One of my childhood friends is also going and so is my 2 nephews, Josue & Michael, along with their girlfriends so tonight is going to be extra special!

Can't wait, wish me luck! =o)

Sent from my BlackBerry® on the MetroPCS Network

Albert @Glee

2010-04-15T17:58:00.001-04:00

I auditioned for GLEE (among millions of others). I know there are hundreds of others who are better singers but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try! Go and give me a gold star! You can vote as many times as you want :D

Click on link below:
check out Albert @Glee

The Almond was a success!

2010-04-10T19:41:00.006-04:00

Everybody loved It Happened With an Almon. Many students came back to watch it again and even brought more people in. After the first showing we were always packed. While I was manning the front door during one of the other short plays a group of students came and asked "Has the almond play started yet?", that was a really cool feeling.

My professor really liked my cast as well and said that their performance got richer with every time they did it. That my story has a lot more depth when performed and that the music I chose went really well with everything. He looked pretty proud of me and that means a lot to me.

I'm pretty sad that it's already over. I'm also relieved that I didn't cancel my play when I was going through those problems with my lead actors. They all really buckled down and carried their own weight (each and every one of them) and delivered a really good show every performance we had. The audience LOVED and raved about it and even the other student playwrights/directors that were in my play writing class last semester praised my hard work. It was truly an amazing experience.

Now the semester is almost over. In a matter of 2 weeks or so and I can hardly wait. I'm ready for a "vacation". I'm ready to rest and not have to worry about school/shows for a while.

Success!!

formspring.me

2010-04-03T17:24:00.001-04:00

Ask me Stuff http://formspring.me/ThespAC

Somewhere in 48 hours ...

2010-04-03T11:49:00.004-04:00

My play will run a preview in front of a theater appreciation class that my professor teaches. I'm pretty excited now because everyone is doing a pretty good job (finally!). I think this is going to be pretty fun. Only thing that has me a little nervous right now is calling cues with the music I'm using. The "contraption" I'm using to play the music hates me, LOL and the other day it made my CD skip during rehearsals. That better not happen during any of the performances! That is why I may be bringing a couple extra copies of the CDs with the music and my laptop (though I'm scared to bring my laptop with all those of us in backstage, which is more like a "green room" than a backstage).

So, in 48 hours my play will make a debut! This is the first time I'm going to have a crowd see something of mine that I've written, so it's nerve wrecking and freakin' exciting at the same time!

Till then :)

Not a bad rehearsal

2010-03-25T14:11:00.003-04:00

Today was the first good rehearsal in a real long time with the cast of my original play. Got to critique and give tips on their acting and all was fine. There was good energy amongst all and the actors with the speaking roles seemed to be synchronized. My lead actor did a great job today and even added his little thing to the final scene, which is depressing as hell :)

I hope from here on out things will only get better with them.

In 2 Weeks time ...

2010-03-24T09:20:00.002-04:00

My play will open ... and to be quite frank, I'm not that excited about it.

I'm not sure if I wrote about it but let me just give a quick recap at what's been going on with my Almond play: First my lead character got a job which prevented him from showing up to the only 2 rehearsal times we're able to meet - that was a problem. Earlier this month it got to the point where I was going to have to recast him and take on the role myself. I had spoken to my professor who is in charge of this whole thing and agreed that would be the best thing. I told the lead and he ended up quitting his job. Now what I'm struggling with is that he doesn't know his lines completely. I can tell he isn't looking through the script thoroughly because he keeps asking for "line". It sucks because he's a talented guy. It looked like we were back on track, right? Nope.

Turns out the second lead had registered for a mini-term class (a class that starts later on in the semester) that was going to take place exactly at 11:15-12:30pm ... the time of our darn rehearsal time. That sucked big time, and I'm still dealing with that right now, which is why I'm also not excited about this show anymore.

Tuesdays we meet from 11:15-12:30, so I don't get to see the second lead that much, and this guy really needs some direction for his character because instead of acting I just see "him" ... not the Guardian that I wrote. There are times when he has it and then others when he just loses the character. I hope he doesn't bomb when performance time comes, which is in 2 weeks. The only time I get to see him is for one hour on Thursdays, when I can be at rehearsal longer from 11:15 to 1:15pm. This guy needs more than just an hour of rehearsal once a week.

I haven't even begun to direct their acting yet because I'm still working on their blocking. I've wasted so much time, first because of the lead character's job and him not being able to be at rehearsals and now because of the second lead. Thank goodness the guy playing my flamboyant guardian angel is pulling his own weight along with Claudia and the Heavenettes.

I have a "Director's meeting" today with the professor and the other playwrights/directors. My professor said that out of all the casts for the short plays, I have the one with the most talented kids. That upsets me because I know it's true, and what we could deliver can be an EXCELLENT performance and blow the other teams away. Sadly, because no one can commit to projects 100%, we're going to deliver an half-ass job. Not on my part, though, I've done the best I can. They could have taken it or have left it. It feels as though they chose the latter.

In other news, my rehearsals for Cabaret are going really well. I'm completely off book and I know my song and a half (LOL) and I think it's going to go really, really well. The dancing with the Kit Kat Girls & Boys looks great and I feel it's going to be a great show. I can hardly wait for the 23rd and 24th of April!

Sachi

2010-03-19T23:55:00.003-04:00

I love this kid.
She's so smart for her age.
Such an attitude & what a personality,
My brother is a lucky dad :)

23 Years Older!

2010-03-14T23:55:00.000-04:00

It's my 23rd birthday today and it was pretty cool, actually.

No repeated "surprise" birthday parties today like the last 2 years, which is a relief. Instead my brother and sisters came by and cut a cake and then we went to my brother's house to eat and hang out for a while.

My mom forgot my birthday today and only realized it after she saw one of my sister's arrive and wish me a happy one while we were washing my car. It was amusing.

The years are passing and boy I hope that the next take forever to pass. Next thing I know I'll be in my 30s! Yikes!

Here's to turtle-slow upcoming years.

Small update

2010-02-22T20:17:00.002-05:00

Well the second month of the new year is almost over. I've memorized the entire first act of Cabaret and the play I'm directing is going according to plan.

How is my critical thinking class, though? Not good. I don't understand most of the concepts and I have a feeling I'm not going to do so good with the upcoming exams (they are going to be short answered essay questions).

All in all, this is a pretty hectic semester for being my last (I hope, it's my last). My hair is growing out and I must cut it ASAP. I'm thinking of cutting it this Thursday, but we'll see. I need some lose cash so I can tip the hair cutter. I also need him to be available during the morning before I meet up with the cast of the play I wrote for rehearsal at 11:15.

This week I will have to start memorizing act 2 of the musical so I can be completely off book by next week.

There's my small update.

"The Scared Tit"

2010-02-08T21:05:00.001-05:00

"The scared Tit"
By Albert Campillo

Oh scared Tit, what keeps you awake?
What frightens you at night?
What makes you quiver ever so violently?
Why is your nipple nose so sweaty?
Why, scared tit, why?
Cover yourself, tit, you poor, shivering, scared tit...

...Tit.

The leading man

2010-01-29T23:20:00.003-05:00

I was cast as the lead in Cabaret!

It came as a surprise that I got cast as Cliff, considering me and everyone in the cast were sure I was going to be the Emcee and the other guy who was competing with me was going to be Cliff. But surprise!

My heart was really set in getting the Emcee role. However, I realize that this is not a losing situation. I got the frickin' lead! It isn't like I got cast in another smaller role. It sort of feels good to know I have my first lead in a play. This is definitely going to be a nice little challenge :)

Anyway, the cast list isn't officially up, but the Director took me in to read for Cliff and just kept changing girls with me to see who could be a good Sally for me. At the end of the auditions the Director kissed me on the cheek and asked me with a sly smirk "Are you excited?" and that's when I really knew I had the part of Cliff.

What I would have liked though was to have been given the chance to sing the three songs I was supposed to sing for the Emcee when I got called back for it. I only got to sing one, while the other guy sang two. Oh well, what's done is done and I am not complaining!

UPDATE, FEB. 22.2010
I realized that this isn't my first lead in a play. I was the lead in Small, Medium, Large. Woops!!

It's either the Emcee or Cliff

2010-01-26T21:37:00.002-05:00

I had cold reading auditions yesterday afternoon. The professor surprised us by making each one audition in front of each other. I was also surprised to see my acting Professor there as a "judge" along with our choreographer.

My heart has always been set on the Emcee, but I felt like I blew it when I read for him. However, when I read for Cliff, I have to admit I did a pretty good job.

I would go into all the details but I'd rather not because I'm too tired, but I felt like I had to update with a post tonight before too much time passes. We're having the singing auditions on Friday and I got called back to sing for both the Emcee and Cliff. At this point I really don't mind who I get of the two. They are both great roles.

My acting professor told me today that he thought I would be good for Cliff because he thinks that the character carries most of the weight of the show. Listening to him say that made the idea of possibly getting cast as Cliff a lot easier to swallow. Had you asked me this past weekend or, hell, even yesterday, I would have given you the death stare because my mind was only set on the Master of Ceremonies (Emcee).

Today my rehearsal for the play that I wrote was good. My cast mate and friend from the musicals, Claudia, is helping me choreograph a little dance for the "Heavennettes" in my play and it's turning out fantastic. I knew casting Claudia in my play would be a good idea, I can count on her for a lot of things. I was irritated because the guy who plays the flamboyant guardian "Florentine" showed up an hour late. I hope that this doesn't repeat because the last thing I want is to get all strict and mean with my cast. I want this production and the process to go as smooth as possible and for it to be a fun experience for all of us involved.

That is all for this update, good night!

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Im, Cabaret, Au Cabaret, To Cabaret!

2010-01-22T11:06:00.003-05:00

Happy new year!

The new semester has already kicked off and by the looks of things I'm going to be busy, busy, busy. Taking my last (I think) general ed class (critical thinking). Hopefully after that class, my math will be exempted and I can finally graduate.

Next week I start rehearsal for It Happened with an Almond, the play that I wrote & that I'm now directing.

Also happening next week, are auditions for Cabaret. The school is actually going to do it! The catch is that a lot of us need to fun raise at least 300 dollars each on sales or donation for the costumes, otherwise we're stuck paying for our own costume! That would suck. I already have my sister who is going to give 50 bucks so we can put her business card on the program so that just leaves me with at least 4 more Ad sales/donations.

I have my mind set on the Emcee part, but I'm also going to audition for the roles of Cliff & Ernst. I would audition for the role of Shultz or whatever his name is (the old man) but there is no way I want to get that part.

NOT. INTERESTED.

Almost all the guys - with the exception of 2 - want the Emcee role. Can we say "COMPETITION"?

Looks like I'm going to have to give it my all and rock it come Monday when we have the cold reading and selling Ads (if only business weren't so stuck up, can't they see that they are going to get a REFUND for their taxes when we give them receipts?). Friday is the singing audition, I think, but I have to rock that too.

Till next time!

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Goodbye to another decade!

2009-12-31T16:29:00.002-05:00

Has it already been 10 years?

It feels as though yesterday I was only 12 years old, watching the final episode of NBC's Sunset Beach at 2pm and then running off with one of my sisters to prepare for the New Years Eve/Mom and bro's birthday party. I loved that day. Planning and running around the city with my sister was so much fun!

I miss the 90s, specifically the late 90s. The 00s didn't seem to have all that magic - at least, right now it doesn't seem to be all that special which brings me to ask myself: Will I feel the same way about this decade that I do about the 90s, ten years from now in 2019? The answer will most likely be "Yes". I remember at one point in 1998 thinking that the late 90s sucked and that I wish things could be like it was in the early/mid 90s, where I used to have all my friends living in the building I grew up in and where things were just plain easier. Hahaha, now here I am missing ALL of the 90s and it's glorious cheesiness.

Another year gone, another decade slowly drifts into the past, and here comes another 10 years of (hopefully) good health, family, and possible love interests. All we have to hope for now is that humanity doesn't sink lower than we already have. What with all the wars and bombs and terrorists, entering this new decade is getting me a little nervous.

Ahh, but enough with the dark thoughts! Here's to another good year; we just have to take things one at a time.

Happy New Years!

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Sleepless & a Princes & a Frog

2009-12-20T04:53:00.005-05:00

It is 4:53 in the morning and I am currently sitting on my bed wide awake and - obviously - writing this entry. I couldn't sleep anymore no matter how hard I tried! I think it has something to do because I am cold. I originally had my window opened slightly but BRR!! So I closed it fully. Did it work? Nope. So I grabbed my heavy sweater and slipped it on.

Yet, there was still something wrong. Not warm enough, so I grabbed a pair of socks and put them on. Still, nothing! So I just gave up and turned on my TV and grabbed my lap top. Now, I'm not going to stay on much on the computer because I'll get a headache but I just felt like writing an entry while I was in the mood to. My plan for this Sunday is to bake chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, blue berry muffins, small carrot cakes, and perhaps brownies so I can start packing them up and giving them to my siblings for the holidays. My house will smell absolutely yummy.

In other news, yesterday I went with my niece to see Disney's new (and return to 2D musicals -yay!) animated film The Princess and the Frog. I really enjoyed the movie. First because, as I just mentioned, it was marking Disney's return to animated hand-drawn musicals, which millions of us have been craving for YEARS. Second, because it brought back a warmth nostalgic feeling of when I was a little kid back in the 90s mesmerized by Disney's golden Renaissance era - ah, the good ole' days.

I'm not going to write an awesome review of it because I sort of suck at writing movie reviews (as you can see by checking out my "Weekend Flix" category in my blog) and because even though I'm awake and not sleepy, half of my brain is still all mushy from tossing and turning and half-sleeping ... make sense? Maybe not, blame it on the mushiness of my brain.

Anyway, it was nice watching this film and from what I've read, Disney is planning to continue the traditional 2D musical animated movies every 2 years. A big "WOOT, WOOT" for that :)

Catch ya later!

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After Showtune

2009-12-14T10:12:00.002-05:00

The show is finally over. It was only two nights but I'm relieved that I can relax for the next two weeks before it all starts again; the classes, work, and more rehearsing for new shows (which I'll be working on more than one - at least, that's the plan right now).

I was so scared both nights, not because of being on stage and in front of a crowd, but because I was afraid of forgetting the lyrics to my songs! Well, I didn't - thankfully. All the scenes went well and the scene I directed couldn't have gone better. On the last night the camera I was supposed to use in the scenes I directed went missing. That's right, someone stole it. My director almost chewed off the stage manager's head for not having seen this earlier that day when she had asked him to make sure all props were there. I felt bad for him, and made sure to let him know that I wasn't so heart broken as the director made me seem to be, lol. She's great, I appreciate her for letting me have directed those scenes, as an actor and performer one should cherish that level of trust given to them by the person in charge of the entire production.

I went to the cast party on the final night on Saturday after a lot of pressure, lol. I almost didn't go because last Thursday, after our last dress rehearsals, my car wouldn't start up, and I was nervous that if I went to my castmate's place my car might start acting up again and I'd be stranded. But Claudia got in the car with me and we took my car to her home and left it there and then went in her friend's car to our castmate's party. That was sweet and I'm glad I didn't skip out on it as I originally intended to do. We ate pizza, I drank a glass of wine, and we sang karaoke.

All in all the show was a fun experience. The cast was great and I'm going to miss some of them terribly because I know this was their last semester. The next, will be my final one, and then who knows? I'm at a point where I'm not sure whether I want to stay in school or just go and look for an agent to start searching for work.

I need guidance!

The show draws near

2009-12-01T09:53:00.004-05:00

Showtune opens next Friday and already I can't wait for it to be over and done with. I mean, I can't complain, I've had it pretty easy this semester. I learned all my stuff very quickly so it's not like I had to spend so much time working on memorizing or anything. The other class I took was really fun because it was just about writing plays, which I wrote one called It Happened with an Almond. Have I mentioned that I'm directing it next semester? Well, I am!

The professor is allowing for us to direct our plays and show them to the school by enrolling in a studio theater class. That's friggin' awesome and I can't wait for that course next term.

Thanksgiving came and went. I must be honest, it was pretty darn boring. My family doesn't throw the big parties they once used to have many years ago when I was a kid. The food was good, the turkey, in particular. It was so good there was no left overs for me to take home. Damn!

We drew our names for Secret Santa and I ended up getting my little cousin, whom I've already had twice before. So what was I to do? Well, I snatched my niece to a corner and exchanged with the one she got, who turned out to be her own mom - the one who usually buys the gift for her daughter's Secret Santa. Surely I wasn't going to allow for my sister to buy her own gift! So I did what I did :)

Such a loving brother, ain't I?

Well, let's see how my show goes. Hopefully it will go good. Three guys and myself have a tapping number and we JUST got the tap shoes yesterday. I'm going to have to do some serious practicing in the next couple of days. Did I mention I'm directing a scene that consists of 7 songs? Hmm, maybe I should look back to my previous posts. Never mind, I'm to damn lazy. I'm a little nervous because the guy who usually gets our props usually doesn't.

The things I need for my number? Director's Chair, Megaphone, An old school looking filming camera preferably on a tripod, a movie clapboard, and a scrim. I already bought the 6 popcorn bins for a buck each at Target so I'm good in that portion.

I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed!

P.S.

As you can tell, I definitely didn't participate in NaBloPoMo this year with the only 2 entries I posted in November, LOL.

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Premiere night

2009-11-08T22:37:00.007-05:00

There is only one way to describe the premiere of Rough Winds this past Wednesday, November 4th: Magical.

Yes, it was extremely nerve wrecking for me because I always cringe upon seeing myself on camera, but it was a great experience. The movie itself was FANTASTIC and so beautifully shot I'm not even lying. There is no doubt that the Director, Andrea, and the Cinematographer, Matt, are very talented film makers and a force to be reckon with.

I will be honest, I wasn't as satisfied with my performance, but then again, I've only seen it once. Perhaps if I watch myself in it more than once I will grow to like myself in the movie. The rest of the cast, though, did an AMAZING job. The three main actors were incredible and not to mention one of the supporting characters, Christina, who's character I enjoyed each time she appeared in a scene.

My family went and so did my two best friends, Rudy and Nina. They were very supportive and I'm glad that they were there with me - even though we ended up separated because there was reserved seats for the actors and crew to sit together.

After the movie there was a Q & A where the audience asked us questions - thankfully I didn't have to answer anything, the one who did all of the talking was our director, Andrea.

I took a few photos with people and even signed autographs after the film during the "after party" where free pizza was served at the Cinema Paradiso's courtyard; it was bizarre knowing people wanted my autograph but a feeling I welcome with open arms.

Many people complimented my acting and my character, telling me that they loved my characterization of Steve and some even expressed that he was their favorite character in the whole movie. One of the most amusing moments of the night was when two italian (or Jewish) sounding older women held me hostage for 5 minutes because they wanted a photo with me. They tried to take one with their camera phone but it didn't come out so well, so one of the nice ladies then proceeded to look for her husband and get him to find their camera. God bless them! LOL.

Another "highlight" of the evening was ... my shoes. My damn shoes started to fall apart during the night, LITERALLY! I stepped on a puddle of water when I arrived and I felt a little dampness in my right shoe. I shrugged it off and kept going. When I entered the theater the heel on my right shoe felt VERY odd, so I looked down and was mortified to see that the heel had somehow torn off completely. To make a long story short, chunks fell off from BOTH of my shoes during the night and by the time I got home the bottom of my shoes looked as though vicious animals had eaten them; the rubber soles were completely visible. I laugh now at the memory when during the Q&A when the actors and crew were asked to go to the front of the theater to answer the questions how I spotted a chunk of my shoe right in front of us in the center of the theater. Luckily the room wasn't too brightly lit and my pants were long. It was very awkward to say the least!

Anyway, tonight I received a text from the director telling me that the film had won Best Florida Film! I'm so happy to hear that. I also learned that the movie is having a special screening this November 21st at 7pm, a Saturday.

I hope that this movie opens a few doors for me. I love acting in films and only wish that I will have more opportunities to keep acting in them.

www.albertcampillo.com

1 Day left for the premiere

2009-11-03T11:08:00.003-05:00

And I've had my share of "nightmares" the past few nights about the movie's premiere tomorrow night.

One of them consisted of a few scenes not working well, so the crew got all of us cast members in those particular scenes and dragged us off to re-shoot the scenes while the audience waited (bizarre, huh?

The other one, which I had like a night ago, was of the premiere being held inside of a tiny garage storage room.

I'm so nervous! Tomorrow is the day!
Gonna feel awkward to have my family and friends see me in a sex scene ... not only that, I just can't stand watching myself act!

Lord have mercy ... :)

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Look ma, I'm on TV!

2009-10-22T11:07:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning to seeing clips from my movie on the local news channel. It was so bizarre to see some of my scenes on TV, but oh so thrilling!

The movie is finally premiering on the fourth of November and even though I'm fine now, I can't imagine how nervous I'm going to be when I'm in that theater watching the movie with the room full of people and my family and friends.

It is an event I'm both looking forward to and getting nervous about!

Halloween is in a few days and I purchased a Sweeney Todd wig from Amazon. I was thinking of buying a costume but immediately discarded the idea because of two reasons: the first being that I am not rich and the second being that I can simply wear some pinstriped pants, a white buttoned up shirt with a vest over it. Throw in a bloody handkerchief, along with some brilliant eye shadows and make up and voila, I'm Sweeney Todd and I saved a bundle of money without switching to Geico.

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The cold is here! (For now)

2009-10-18T08:56:00.002-04:00

Give me a "Woot, woot!"

I woke up this morning and it was freezing outside!

Last night the air began to grow chilly and I got really excited. What did I do? I quickly turned off the A.C. and opened up ALL of my windows. After all, a college student who is paying the electricity needs to seize the moment to save some $$$ when the opportunity arises.

I'm sipping some coffee right now and I couldn't ask for a better morning. In a bit I will be going out with my best friend to a few thrift stores to see what we can find for Halloween so we can save some cash and our wallets have something in it other than frustrated flies trying to escape when we open them.

This weather is perfect. Right now it is 75 degrees and it is PERFECT. It isn't too cold but it isn't warm either.

Just thought I'd update and share a little of my glee with ... well, whoever reads this. Which I'm sure is only two or three people ... as I've mentioned before.

Good day!

Changing Weather

2009-10-01T09:22:00.003-04:00

It is a beautiful day outside this morning. The sky is gray, the breezy air feels wonderful when it brushes against my face and through my hair. Those who prefer the shining sun and bright blue sky would call this day a gloomy one, but I see it as an ideal day to be out with close friends walking around the beach, through a park, or going to the movies.

Unfortunately, I'm stuck at work!

I am inside a chilly office, my calming gray sky is actually these boring gray walls that stand around me, and the only thing brushing against my face and hair is the dust particles from the old AC vents - I'm surprised I haven't gotten sick.

Currently the thought of getting a new job is very tempting. I don't want to work in this department anymore. I'm over it, it is boring and I feel like I am wasting my time. The bad part is that I'm not sure if I will find another job where they will work around MY schedule. If I go to another job I will have to pick my classes according to the schedule the new job assigns me. And while picking classes that fit around the employer's schedule doesn't really phase me all that much, I cannot do that this semester or the next because I have the musical class that only has ONE time block.

Going to FIU or any other school after Miami Dade isn't exactly my favorite plan. I want to move out of Miami, get an agent, and go somewhere else to start working towards making a career. I want to explore new areas of the world and meet new people and have new experiences. I know my family (well, my mom, actually) will make it extremely difficult for me to leave but it is something I just have to do if I ever want to grow as a person, become fully independent and learn how to take care of myself. My mother says I would never be able to do that because I need her too much, and while that does seem like something vindictive to say, I feel she says it out of fear. Because she knows that I have that determination to leave the state to pursue my dreams - something all my siblings have failed to do and instead have stayed in Hialeah to become parents. Perhaps my mother says those things because she wants to find a way to weaken that determination that is burning inside me so that I won't leave and she won't feel so alone.

But I need to move. It has to happen, MILLIONS of others do it and I'm no less than anyone to not be able to do it. Yes, I'm scared of the thought, but that is only natural ... especially to someone who has never left Florida at all.

I know it's hard, but she's just going to have to learn and accept the fact that she needs to let her youngest child leave the nest and spread their wings, before it turns into a rusty cage of imprisonment.

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Ah, fall

2009-09-28T21:21:00.003-04:00

Where is the chilly air hiding?

I'm anxiously waiting for those days of fresh holiday air to get to Miami and chase away the mugginess of the Summer's heat.

Today was the first song auditions for Showtune, the musical revue we're doing at my campus this term. Yes, Another revue ... I'm pretty much sick of them but what can I say. I want to have fun this semester and not get stressed out over silly things.

Fall has arrived, and the heat is still here.
I hear a cold front is coming soon, but who really knows when that will be.
They say potato, nature says po-tato.

My rant is over.

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Math, you are DONE in my Life!

2009-09-07T13:20:00.003-04:00

At last I got the math waiver at my school to exempt me from having to take the classes. This means that next semester will be my final one and then I finally graduate from MDC. After that, who knows, I'm guessing I ought to try going to a University. Then again, I don't really need any diploma in theater to book actual jobs. Casting directors don't look at that stuff, unless I graduated from a fancy artsy school like AMDA or Julliard.

Instead of taking the 2 math classes I will have to take a Critical thinking class next semester. That should be fun.

This semester I am only taking a play writing class, and the musical class. We're not sure which musical we're doing this year, but I've been told it will more than likely be another revue... GRRR.

Next semester, though, they're thinking and hoping of doing Cabaret. That should be a fun show to do.

Everything is fine here at the new place. We're adjusting pretty nicely, just need to finish organizing the place. Like I said in the previous post, my mom has A LOT of stuff.

Have I totally abandoned this blog? I better not!

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Moved & Festivals

2009-08-16T03:29:00.003-04:00

It's 3:29am and now it is when I had the chance to stop and take a breather.
I've spent the last 3 days or so moving stuff out of my old apartment and into the new duplex my mother and I moved in to. We're finally moved.

The place is BIG but my mother, being the pack-rat that she is, has WAY TOO MANY STUFF! So we are left with a cluttered living room that nearly drove me to tears a few hours ago. It's still there.

I love my room, it is bigger than the tiny room I just moved out of and even bigger than the room I had at the previous duplex I lived in before it went into foreclosure.

My room is still a bit messy but compared to the rest of the house, it is the most organized.

The backyard is humongous and I'm so happy to finally have a place for my washer and dryer again! I can do my own laundry again, yippy!!!

In other news, I am proud to announce that my movie ROUGH WINDS got accepted into TWO FILM FESTIVALS!!! One is a prestigious film festival that is well known being held in Europe and the other is in Ft. Lauderdale and is screening November 4th. You can only imagine how relieved my family is to know this, they were beginning to suspect that I hadn't filmed a movie at all because it's taken so much time.

Anyway, I'm done. My feet are literally aching from all the lifting and moving I did with my brother today. My sister and her husband showed up later and then my other sister did too once she got out of work.

Now I can't wait for this flipping mess to be cleared from the living room!!!

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Summer school is over

2009-08-06T12:01:00.002-04:00

I passed my psychology class with a B so that means I'm done with the difficult classes. Can I get a "Woot, woot"?

Summer is almost gone and I can't wait for this heat to finally come to an end. My mom and I will be moving soon but it all depends on when these section 8 people go and inspect the new place so they can give us the "OK". I hope it's soon - like this week. I want to be moved already. Is it sad that I'm anxious to do my own laundry again?

I got some very good news that I won't post here yet. But I will soon, once I'm given permission to. Pretty exciting, really.

I'll try to update more often. Perhaps when I move I'll get back into blogging and maybe even filming movie blogs.

Peace out

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Open your world

2009-07-25T20:01:00.002-04:00

That's what my psychology professor spoke about the other day in class. As I was sitting there daydreaming and wanting for the class to come to a conclusion as quickly as possible, the topic steered toward a specific type of people - I'm not sure the exact term for it, though. Anyway, the topic was about how these people are scared of new things, that they have to plan EVERY SINGLE DETAIL ahead in time before venturing off in, for example, a trip to another side of town. These people live in small bubbles and are afraid of opening their worlds enough for them to explore new things, only driving in their side of town out of fear of the "unknown" (another part of their city). It immediately struck me that the person this professor was describing sounded a lot like me, and I was mortified!

As I watched the other students laugh at the professors description of this person I couldn't help but feel awkward, as though instead of saying "a person like this ..." the professor was saying "Albert will never go anywhere outside his hometown ..."

I told myself that I couldn't be like that, I just couldn't! I needed to open my world a lot more than it already was. So the past few days I've been doing little things I would normally be afraid of doing because I simply couldn't fathom being THAT PERSON the professor described in class. And so one day I decided to go put gas on my own because I needed to learn how to, instead of getting someone to be there with me in case something humiliating happened I wouldn't go through it on my own.

Yeah, I know that seems crazy. "So what's so scary about putting gas in on your own?" Well, it was, for me; and that's what I want to change. So I went and put gas all on my own! It may seem like a small accomplishment for some, but it was huge for me, LOL.

Today I went on the highway on my own for the first time to pick up my friend Nina, and I didn't die! As soon as I got into my car I noticed my hands were shaking like there was no tomorrow. I put on my GPS and cursed mother nature for making it rain and thunder, and then I was off.

I got to my friend's house fairly quickly and then we went to Coconut Grove to watch Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Afterwards we went to some restaurant called Moe's - not to be mistaken with the bar in Springfield - and had dinner. Later I dropped her off and was back on the highway. I missed my exit at one point and had to get off on another one. I almost had a mini panic attack, but I put all my faith on G-PeSha (my GPS [yes, I named her]) and continued to follow the directions until I made it back to my home sweet home!

Anyway, now I'm sitting here and I'm proud of myself for doing it and not running away from the fear. Over the past two years or so I've promised myself that when I want to do something that scares me, that I will go on and do it. After all, nobody said opening your world to new things wouldn't be scary, that's why it's exciting and exhilarating.

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Fall Can't come fast enough

2009-07-08T12:35:00.008-04:00

Summer needs to come to its conclusion and fast!

Not only because I can't stand the hot weather down here in Miami, but because I look forward to the days where I no longer have to worry about studying for a science class or a psychology class ... or a math class. Speaking of which, I need to contact that counselor here at the school to see if I can go and retake that evaluation I need to take so I can get exempted from the math classes. If all goes well I will be able to substitute those two required math classes for two other courses. I'll be keeping my fingers & toes crossed!

Lately I've been feeling a little strange. I'm not sure whether it's because I actually passed biology, oceanography, and now psychology, or if it's because I am now driving and not necessarily dependent on others in my family to get around to do what I need to do. It'll be a wonderful change to be able to go to the cast party this upcoming December after my show ends.

There are days where I wake up feeling happy-go-lucky and like a million bucks, and then there are others where I feel a little depressed or just in the mood for a good cry. The latter is the mood I am currently feeling, and it isn't so nice.

It's something I can't explain. There is no way I can put it into words, written or verbal, so sometimes I am left with the feeling like I'm about to implode any second. The sad thing about it is that I know I have a family that cares about me yet I don't want to share any of this with them. It's ridiculous to say it but I feel alone sometimes, like 98% of the people that know me don't know the real me.

Well, will ya look at that? I actually wrote down what I was feeling. I guess I CAN express this mystery of a feeling in a written form - at least this is as close as I've gotten to describe it.

Chin up, though, I just need to keep moving forward and try to open myself up a little. The past few weeks I've come to realize I have some major trust issues. I've thought horrible things about the two only real friends I have, and I am now putting in jeopardy possible new friendships by doubting their sincerity.

I'm not doing it on purpose.

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I ain't dead

2009-06-15T15:37:00.003-04:00

No updates in a month - how could I?
I've been really busy trying to pass my Oceanography class in the summer term, and guess what? I did! I took the final exam today and got my grade for the class and the test: they were B! I got a B so now I'm finally done with my second science class so I will NEVER have to take another one again. Yippy! (Have I mentioned that I also passed my Biology class this past Spring semester with a B?)

I got my license and I'm already driving my car. I'm still a little iffy about driving to far away places on my own, mainly because I'm scared I might not know how to get back, but in time I am sure I'll get over these jitters. I bought a GPS but even then, I'm still scare of venturing out on my own. One day (soon enough) I am going to wake up tired of this BS and I'm going to force myself to go somewhere so I can get over this.

On a bright note, at least I don't have to walk to and from the train station anymore during hot and rainy weathers!

Any way, I'm going to stop writing. I wanted to make a little update because I've been twittering more than updating the blog. I'm in my office but I need to change to go to the gym (oh yeah, BTW, I've started going to the gym at school).

Next week, the second half of summer begins, which means I start my psychology class again - for the third time - ever since that Nazi failed me for no good reason. Oh my, if I keep it up I should be graduating next May!

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Funny Story ...

2009-05-07T17:13:00.005-04:00

So I totally misunderstood when my mom told me that the insurance was 600 something a month. Yes, I REALLY misunderstood.

It is actually 116 a month, which I CAN afford!!!

So yeah, I'm really getting my car, LOL. I'm so happy & relieved about it!

P.S.

Reading this entry and the one before this one, I've noticed I come off as completely Bi-Polar. I'm not, I swear.

P.P.S.

Check out the two new links I added below in my signature, the first one leads to my "official" domain, where you can also view this blog (With a little googling, I managed to add this blog to my webstie!), and the second is my Twitter; you know, so if you want to stalk me and all ..

My OFFICIAL website
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